Page 35 of Certified to Handle You
He still had his arm around me and still pulled me in, but it didn’t flow the same way, and I couldn’t tell if that was just how he was or if it was somethin’ else I hadn’t quite figured out yet. I didn’t question it. I just noticed it.
I took a sip of my drink, lettin’ my eyes move around the table again while they talked, laughin’ about somethin’ I only caught half of.
I found myself watchin’ more than I was talkin’, just payin’ attention to how everything moved around the table. The more I sat here, the more I started pickin’ up on the way everything seemed to center around Kay’Lo and Pressure without nobody even sayin’ it.
It wasn’t forced, and it wasn’t loud, but it was there.
Toni stayed leaned into Kay’Lo, laughin’ when he laughed, followin’ his lead in the conversation without ever really takin’ it over, and Pluto moved the same way with Pressure, soft, calm, and right there with him while he did most of the talkin’.Even when she spoke, it still felt tied into him somehow, like everything circled back around to them.
I wasn’t sayin’ it was a bad thing because there was nothin’ wrong with a woman lovin’ her man and movin’ with him.
But sittin’ here, lookin’ at it from the outside, I couldn’t help but notice how much of them seemed wrapped up in that role, to the point that I didn’t even know what they did outside of bein’ wives and mothers.
Maybe they had their own shit goin’ on. Maybe they didn’t.
I hadn’t been around enough to know, and Renza never spoke on it, so all I had to go off was what I was seein’ right in front of me.
And what I was seein’… It just wasn’t how I moved.
I had my own businesses, my own money, and my own name tied to shit I built from the ground up, so watchin’ them sit back and let everything revolve around their men the way they did, it felt different to me. It just seemed like their entire personalities folded into their men, and they just fell in line with it without question.
Again, I didn’t think it was a bad thing, but it was so different from what I was used to that I couldn’t ignore it.
I took a sip of my drink and leaned back in my chair a little, remindin’ myself that I was still gettin’ to know them, and just because I didn’t understand it yet didn’t mean it was somethin’ to judge.
So, I let it be what it was and stayed where I was, sittin’ here watchin’, and learnin’ how they moved without sayin’ too much.
I leaned into Renza a little more, lettin’ my guard drop just enough, and focused on the moment instead of everything else. And for now, that was enough.
We had been sittin’ at the table for hours, drinkin’, smokin’, and just choppin’ it up. I had already eaten enough food to know I was gon’ be full for the rest of the night, but plates kept comin’ out, drinks kept gettin’ poured, and nobody around the table seemed ready to call it a night.
The patio had turned into one of them nights where everything blended together after a while.
The music stayed low in the background, the lights above us kept that warm glow over the table, and everybody was leaned back in their seats, comfortable enough to talk shit without nobody havin’ to force the conversation. I wasn’t sayin’ much, but I was present. I was listenin’, watchin’, and tryin’ to let myself relax instead of sittin’ here searchin’ for a reason to feel out of place.
Renza fit right in with them, and I could tell this was really his world. He didn’t have to try or have to make room for his personality because it was already understood here. Him and Pressure had been goin’ back and forth for the longest over some dumb shit that somehow turned into them arguin’ over who had better taste in whatever they shared interest in, and Kay’Lo sat there quiet for the most part, sippin’ his drink and throwin’ in one slick line every now and then that had everybody laughin’.
Kay’Lo was different to me. He didn’t talk as much as Pressure or Renza, but when he did say somethin’, everybody heard him. His eyes was the first thing I noticed about him, and not because they were pretty in that regular way women be talkin’ about.
They were intense, sharp, and too calm sometimes. I had green eyes myself, so I wasn’t the type to be impressed just because somebody’s eyes had color in them, but his had a weight to them that made me understand real quick why people probably watched how they moved around him.
He glanced over at me once while Renza and Pressure was talkin’ shit, and it wasn’t nothin’ rude about it. He just looked, nodded a little, then went right back to his drink. Still, I peeped how heavy that look felt.
Pressure was louder with his presence. He sat there with Pluto tucked into him, with one arm around her while he kept his cup in his other hand. Pluto stayed leaned into him with her hand restin’ near his chest every now and then while her pregnant stomach showed through that fitted outfit she had on. He would talk crazy one second, then look down at her the next with this soft attention that made it clear she was the one person at that table he wasn’t playin’ about.
Renza had his arm behind my chair, and every now and then his fingers brushed against my shoulder or the back of my neck.
Then, Pluto’s phone started ringin’.
She looked down at it, and her face softened before she answered. “Hey, Zurie.”
Pressure looked down at her right away, probably because he heard the name, but he didn’t say nothin’ at first.
Pluto listened for a few seconds, and then her brows pulled together. “Zurie, why do you always do this? You wait until the very last minute to tell me you have a school project.”
Her voice was still gentle, but it had that tired mama tone under it. I didn’t know the whole situation, and it wasn’t my business to know, but I could tell from the way everybody reacted that Zurie wasn’t just some random little girl callin’ her.
Pluto rubbed her forehead. “Baby, all the stores are closed now. You can’t keep waitin’ until bedtime to tell me you need a whole list of supplies.”
