Page 103 of Certified to Handle You
I sat there for a second, starin’ at my phone, feelin’ that same flutter sittin’ in my stomach.
I couldn’t even remember the last time a man had me like this, besides Kelli and that was some shit I ain’t even wanna think about.
But… for the first time in a long time, I found myself hopin’ that maybe… just maybe…
This could really be somethin’.
Trill-Land, ’LoLux Estate
It had been days since we came back from celebratin’ Auntie Nyori’s birthday, and I was already startin’ to notice that Kay’Lo was actin’ off.
It ain’t m sit right with me, ’cause outside of the mess with Pluto and Reni, that trip had been everything we needed.
Me and my husband had really got back to us out there. We laughed more, stayed close, and every night we found our way back to each other without nothin’ in the middle of it. We made love every single night, takin’ our time like we was tryna savor every moment. It felt good to be right there with him, wrapped up in him and knowin’ he was present with me.
Even durin’ the day, we was playin’ games with everybody, talkin’ shit, eatin’ and just enjoyin’ the water and the peace thatcame with it. I got to sit next to my husband and just be his wife without worryin’ about what might come next, and that meant more to me than anything. So comin’ back home and feelin’ that switch up in him again, I wasn’t about to ignore it.
I knew what it looked like when Kay’Lo started driftin’, and I knew the difference between him just bein’ quiet and him slippin’ somewhere deeper in his head.
He had been doin’ so good too. He got back on his medicine on his own. He ain’t make no big announcement about it, or tell nobody but me, and I respected that ’cause I knew how personal that was for him.
After everything his daddy did with goin’ behind his back and playin’ with his diagnosis, I understood why he wanted to keep certain shit to himself. As long as he was takin’ care of himself, I was gon’ stand behind him.
But these last couple days, I could feel him startin’ to pull back just a lil’, and that was all it took for me to stay on him without makin’ it obvious.
I looked down at My’Love as she crawled across the floor in front of me, her little hands hittin’ the floor quick while she made all kinds of sounds like she had somewhere to be. She was movin’ with purpose, lookin’ around like she was searchin’ for somethin’, and I already knew what it was. She felt her daddy’s energy too.
My baby paid attention to her daddy in a way that made my chest tighten sometimes, ’cause she had already learned how to read him without nobody sittin’ her down and teachin’ her how. She had watched me hold him, talk to him, calm him and now she moved off instinct when she felt that same shift.
I had his pill bottle in my hand while I followed behind her, smilin’ down at her.
“Come on,” I said soft. “Let’s go find Daddy.”
She let out a loud sound like she understood me, her voice high and excited as she picked up her speed, crawlin’ faster like she was really callin’ for him.
“Da-da-da,” she kept goin’, lookin’ around corners like she knew she was close.
I walked behind her, watchin’ her with a smile that sat heavy in my heart, ’cause even at almost ten months, she was already showin’ me what kind of heart she had.
We moved through the house until she turned into one of the livin’ rooms on the other side, and that’s where I found Kay’Lo.
He was stretched out across the sectional, laid back with one arm behind his head while the TV played in front of him. His eyes was on it, but I knew my husband well enough to know he wasn’t seein’ none of it. His mind was somewhere else, and I could see it in his eyes the second I stepped in.
I bent down and picked My’Love up before she could climb all over the couch by herself, then walked further into the room.
“Look,” I said softly, bringin’ her closer. “There go ya daddy.”
The moment Kay’Lo looked over and saw her, everything in his face changed, and that was the part of him I loved the most.
“Come here, mama,” he said, his voice soft and warm.
My’Love reached for him right away, her arms stretchin’ out while she made excited sounds, and he took her from me, puttin’ her on his chest while she climbed all over him.
He kissed her cheek, then her forehead, holdin’ her close while she pressed herself against him.
“What you doin’, mama?” he murmured. “You came lookin’ for me?”
She laid her head on his chest, her little hand pattin’ at him like she was tryna soothe him, and I just stood here watchin’ for a second before I moved closer.
