Page 45 of Cash
The mention of my daughter brought reality rushing back, not as a cold shock, but as a gentle reminder of my responsibilities.“Lily adores you,” I said softly.“You’ve been so good with her, Cash.Better than her own father was much of the time.”
“I love her,” he said simply, the words carrying the weight of absolute truth.“But I need to know where the boundaries are.I don’t want to overstep.I think Ash and I have come to an agreement but as far as I’m concerned, this is more your decision than his.”
I reached out, tracing the line of his jaw with my fingertips, feeling the scratch of his beard against my skin.“I’m scared,” I admitted, the words barely audible.“Not of you, but of wanting this so much.Of needing someone after handling everything alone for so long.”I swallowed hard, forcing myself to continue.“I’m not good at needing people.I needed Ash and he chose his friends over me and Lily.I can’t go through that again.More importantly, Lily can’t.She was too young to remember much the first time, but now…”
Cash captured my hand, pressing a kiss to my palm.Warmth spread up my arm.“Good thing I’m stubborn, then,” he replied, his eyes holding mine.“Because I’m not going anywhere, Eliza.Not unless you tell me to.”
“I don’t want you to go,” I whispered.“That’s what scares me the most.”
He leaned in and kissed me gently, brushing a lock of hair away from my eyes.“We don’t have to figure everything out tonight,” he said.“We’ve got time.But I need you to hear me when I say this isn’t casual for me.You and Lily… You’ve gotten under my skin in ways I never expected.”
I nodded against his chest, his heartbeat steady beneath my ear.“It’s not casual for me either.It’s just there’s so much happening with Lily right now.I don’t want you to feel like you’re second place.You’re not.I honestly think Lily needs all of us.Me, you, and Ash.Just in different ways.”
“I know,” Cash murmured into my hair.“And I want to help with all of it, however I can.Whatever Lily needs, whatever you need.You say the word and I’ll make it happen.”
I pulled back slightly to look at his face.“Why?Why would you take all this on?My complicated life, a child with medical needs who isn’t yours, a custody situation I still don’t have fully resolved?”
Cash’s expression softened, his thumb brushing across my cheekbone.“Because for the first time since prison -- hell, maybe even before -- I can see a future worth fighting for.And it all has to do with you and Lily.”His voice dropped lower, almost as if he was speaking to himself.“Never thought I’d have a shot at anything like this.”He snorted.“All I cared about was fortune and fame.Now, I see how unimportant both are in the grand scheme of things.Family is what gets you through life.You and Lily are my family now.Kiss of Death is your family.”
My throat tightened with emotion.I had no words adequate to respond, so instead, I kissed him, trying to pour everything I couldn’t say into the press of my lips to his.
When we finally broke apart, Cash rested his forehead against mine.“One day at a time, OK?No pressure, no expectations beyond what feels right for both of us.”
I nodded, grateful for his understanding.“I should get back to Lily,” I said reluctantly.“Pippa’s probably wondering if I fell off the face of the earth.”
Cash smiled, pressing one last kiss to my lips before releasing me.“Go on, then.”
I slipped from the bed, suddenly self-conscious as I gathered my scattered clothing.Cash watched from the bed, making no move to hide his appreciation of my body.Instead of feeling exposed, his gaze made me feel powerful, desired in a way I hadn’t for years.
As I dressed, Cash pulled on his boxers and jeans, leaving his chest bare.When I finished buttoning my blouse, he took my hand and led me back to Lily’s and my apartment.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”he asked, the question casual but the look in his eyes anything but.
“Wild horses.Remember?”I rose on tiptoes to press one last kiss to his lips.What was meant to be a quick goodbye deepened when his hand cupped the back of my head, holding me close for a moment longer.
“Sleep well, lil’ Liza,” he murmured against my lips before reluctantly releasing me.
I stepped inside my apartment, wrapping my arms around myself as I pressed my back against the closed door.My body still hummed with the aftereffects of our lovemaking.Despite the late hour, I felt more awake, more alive than I had in years, as if parts of me long dormant had reawakened under Cash’s touch.
I found Pippa sitting in the armchair beside Lily’s bed, reading by the soft glow of her phone.She looked up as I entered, a knowing smile spreading across her face.
“All good?”she asked quietly, rising from the chair.
I nodded, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks.“Thank you.For everything.Everyone here has been so good to me.”
Pippa squeezed my hand gently.“Any time.She didn’t stir once.”She paused at the door, her expression softening.“I’m happy for you, Eliza.You deserve this.”
After she left, I stood in Lily’s doorway, watching my daughter sleep.Her face was peaceful, one hand curled around Mr.Flopsy’s worn ear, the other still clutching Spots the giraffe.
I checked the nightlight, adjusted her blanket, and pressed a light kiss to her forehead before retreating to my own room.As I prepared for bed, my mind drifted back to Cash, to the belonging I’d felt in his arms.I knew better than to believe everything would be perfect from here on out.Life taught me better too many times.For the first time in longer than I could remember, I allowed myself to hope for something better than mere survival.
I climbed into bed and shut out my light.The soft glow of Lily’s nightlight as it filtered through her bedroom door and through my own, gave me an added sense of security, knowing I could easily get to my daughter if she needed me.Cash had given me this.Kiss of Death had made sure my every need was met.
As sleep closed in around me, I whispered words of gratitude into the darkness, grateful for the unexpected turn in my life and for the people who’d shown me kindness.And for the flicker of hope now burning bright within me.Thanks to all these people, I knew I’d be ready to face whatever tomorrow brought my way.And I wanted to face it with Cash.
Chapter Fifteen
Cash
