Page 10 of Sparks Fly
"Can you tell me about the situation she was in?"
"What do you mean situation she was in?"
He's going to make me spell all of this out for him.
I watch as Gunner pulls out the chair across from me and drops into it. We all treat the station like it’s our own home, so he situates himself and then turns his gaze to me. He doesn’t say anything right away, just seems to measure how much he wants to tell me.
His scrutiny makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
"The situation," I say, choosing my words carefully. "With her ex."
His expression shifts into one that he keeps locked down. Maybe if he allows himself to feel everything about Derek he’ll want to end up breaking shit. "Why do you want to know about that?"
"Because I like her." The duh is left unsaid. "And I don't want to do something that sets her back or makes things harder for her. I want to know what I'm walking into, for sure.”
Gunner is quiet for a long moment. Long enough that I think he might tell me to mind my own fuckin’ business, which would be fair. It's his sister.
"Shouldn't you be asking Trish that?" he says finally.
"Yeah." I exhale. "Probably. I will, but it seems like it’s something that hurts her, and I would prefer to keep hurt away from Trish. She’s dealt with enough of it when it comes to him. Every time it seems like she’s going to let me in…” I stop, trying to find the right way to say it. "She pulls back a little. Like she doesn't want to make it into a bigger deal than it already is."
Gunner points at me. "That's her. That's exactly what she does." He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, staring at the middle distance for a second. "She's done it her whole life. Whatever's happening, whatever she's feeling, she minimizes it. Wraps it up, throws it away and tells everyone she's fine." He glances at me. "Even when she's not remotely fine."
"So I'm not imagining it."
"No. You're not." He's quiet again, and I can see him making a decision about how much to say. "Derek had a wandering eye from basically the beginning. Most of us saw it — or saw enough to have our suspicions. But Trish was in love with him, and when you're in love with someone you don't want to believe what you're seeing." He shifts in his seat under my gaze. "And then Cora came along, and everybody figured — okay. Now he'll straighten out. Now he's got something worth staying for."
I don't say anything. Trish should’ve been worth staying for, but I know how this ends.
"He didn't." Gunner's jaw tightens. "He just got better at hiding it for a while. And then he stopped bothering to hide it at all, and by the time Trish had the full picture, it had been going on for a long time." He looks at me directly, his gaze hard as fuck. "The people who got hurt were Trish and Cora. That's it. That's the whole story. Derek walked out and didn't look back, and Cora only seen him a handful of times since."
How a man can be so cruel to his child will never make sense to me. What I’ve wanted my entire life is a family. It’s something to call mine, even if it didn’t start out as mine. There’s just something about Trish. I can’t put my finger on it, but from the moment I saw her, my body screamed mine, and it kills me that this man who had everything threw it away.
"She thinks it's her fault," I say. It's not a question. A woman like Trish will take everyone else’s hurt and make it her own. It’s just who she is.
Gunner looks at me for a long moment. "She'd never say that, would never admit to it, but we all know how she is."
We definitely do, and maybe that’s the reason I’m so attracted to her. She’s so different than any of the other women I’ve known. She’s a mother, she cares about the people around her, and she’s a good person. When I’m with her, I feel like I’m a better person. “She makes others want to be better.”
He nods slowly. "Yeah. She does."
I pick up my phone and look at the last text exchange, at things would probably get out of hand and the way she took that careful half-step back even through a screen. I understand it better now. It doesn't make it less frustrating, but I understand it.
"I'm not Derek," I say, needing to tell Gunner so that he knows I’m not playing games with his sister.
"I know that." His hard gaze meets mine, and I’m thankful that we’re friendly enough that he won’t question that fact.
"Good, I need you to know that. Because she's your sister and Cora is your niece and I'm not walking into this without being serious about it. We work together, we’re friends, and I need you to be okay with this.”
Before I started speaking these words out loud, I didn’t realize how important it was for me to make sure it’s okay with him.
Gunner studies me for a moment with those eyes that have always seen too much, and then he does something I don't expect. He almost smiles. "You danced with her at my wedding."
"I did." I confirm, not sure what he’s getting at.
That almost smile turns into a smirk. "In front of everyone."
What the fuck is he getting at? "Also true."
