Page 8 of Sparks Fly
She lets me help her sit up, and then she leans her whole body weight into me, still more asleep than awake. I get her shoes on her feet, and guide her toward the door with my hand between her shoulder blades.
"Thank you," I say to Gunner quietly as we pass him. “I really appreciate it.”
He shrugs, leaning over to drop a kiss on Cora’s forehead. "Anytime. You know we love having her over, and I always want you to have the option of your alone time."
I love my brother, he’s the absolute best, and I love that he’s so supportive. I don’t say anything, because I’m afraid I might cry. Instead, I look around for Amy. I catch her eyes over his shoulder and she gives me a small smile. “Thank you,” I whisper, but I don’t have to wait for them to respond.
I know they’ll do it any time I need them to.
Our drive home is quiet, and while there have been times that silence has made me sad, it doesn’t this time. I’m happy, thinking about the night I had with Mark. Cora falls back asleep in her booster seat before we even clear the neighborhood, and I let her. Gone is the chaos of our lives with Derek. This is a settled, peaceful quiet, and I’m going to enjoy it. It's Sunday, and we've got nowhere to be. It's just going to be me and my girl.
Once we get home, I carry her inside, deposit her on the couch with a blanket, and start a load of laundry before the day gets away from me. Since I got divorced, my life has been about routines, and my typical routine is laundry on Saturday, but I had plans, so I’m proving to myself I can pivot. I can pivot without it being a big deal.
With Derek, everything was a fucking big deal.
My phone buzzes on the counter while I'm sorting lights from darks. Leaning over, I see that it’s a message from Mark, and my heart rate kicks up. We’re in the new stages of our relationship, and I’m going to enjoy it while I can.
Mark: How’s your day going? Did you get Cora picked up?
I set down one of Cora's shirts and pick up my phone.
Me: Got home about an hour ago. Cora slept the whole way from Gunner and Amy’s.
Mark: They wore her out, huh? Wish I could’ve slept like that last night.
I laugh before I can stop myself. I’d had a very hard time going to sleep last night, too.
Me: Did you sleep at all?
Mark: Tossed and turned. Hit the shower after I kept thinking about that kiss.
I’m not used to a man being that honest with me. About the fact they want me that much. Staring at the words for a second, I shake my head and smile to myself. I shouldn’t answer so quickly and look so desperate. So I set the phone face-down on top of the dryer, before picking it back up.
Me: Yeah, I did too.
The dots appear immediately.
Mark: Kept thinking about it, or hit the shower?
I know what he’s implying, and I’ve never been open about masturbation with a partner. Didn’t seem to help with Derek, so maybe I should throw caution to the wind here.
Me: Wasn’t the shower, but the same outcome happened.
There I said it, without saying it.
Mark: Good. I’m glad it’s not just me.
I am too, but I don’t say anything. My feelings are too raw, and way too close to the surface. I tuck the phone in my back pocket and finish the laundry with the warmth of a new relationship coursing all through my body.
Cora and I spend the rest of the day together. I fold laundry while she watches her shows.
“Mom, can I have pancakes?” She asks around three o’clock, now fully awake.
“If that’s what you want, then that’s what you’ll have.”
Mark texts me a few more times the rest of the day. He had to report to the station around noon to start his twenty-four on. Once to send me a picture of an absolutely terrible cup of coffee he made at the station. It’s black and looks tragic with the caption this is a cry for help. I don’t know how in the world any of them drink that. Mine needs flavored syrup and enough cream or milk to make it the color of toffee. The next time he texts me, it’s to tell me that one of the guys on his crew burned the early dinner he was supposed to be making and they've been arguing about it for forty-five minutes.
Me: You are all children.
