Page 2 of Sparks Fly
I'm not used to this. To a man making me believe that I deserve things, that I should expect to want to build a life with him. That was one thing me and my ex-husband struggled with. I wanted us to be a team, and he didn't. "Thank you for making my feelings seem appropriate. You wouldn't believe how many people have told me I wanted too much for wanting to be a team with my husband."
"Those people are fucking stupid," he mumbles with a grin. "I'll tell you what, though. I'll go inside and you can make the decision if you want to come in or not. No hard feelings if you decide not to, but it's important to me for it to be your decision. Don't think about if it's going to hurt my feelings. I want you to be completely selfish with this, and do what you want to do not what you think I want. This is all on you, babe."
The way his deep voice calls me babe causes my skin to raise in goosebumps. It rolls off his tongue like he's been calling me that for most of our lives. While I am nervous as hell to spend this evening with him, there's another part of me that's excited. "I appreciate this, Mark."
He nods in acceptance, and then heads through the front door. I watch, but he doesn't look back. Instead he goes from the living room into what appears to be a kitchen. Knowing that he isn't looking at me gives me the courage to turn to my SUV. I look at it, before turning back to the door of his house. There are so many emotions flowing through my body. There's dread and anxiousness, but there's something else, too. Excitement and hope bubble up within my chest, and while I might have been able to ignore it before I met Mark. I can't now. I refuse to ignore things within my life that could change it for the better.
There's something within me that wants to explore that excitement and hope. All I have to do is reach out to the door, grasp it, and open it. Once I do that, I can put one foot in front of the other, and move toward the life I want, the one I had convinced myself I didn't deserve.
But here, on this front porch, in the middle of Midnight Cove, I decide it's time to stop wishing for a life. Instead, it's time to start living it.
Chapter Two
Mark
My stomach is in knots as I wait to see if she'll come inside or not. I like to be the type of man who has confidence, but when it comes to Trish? I'm not confident about much. Which makes sense because she's been through a fucking lot, and more than likely she's made the decision to protect herself.
I'm waiting for what feels like a year, but then I hear her open the front door and walk slowly through it. I don't want to turn around and scare her, so I wait until she gets to the kitchen, and has a seat next to me at the table. Looking over at her, I give her a smile. "I'm glad you decided to come in."
"I thought about not doing it." She shakes her head, a sheepish grin working across her face. "I was close to running for my SUV and leaving you in the dust. But I've made an important decision."
Turning so that I face her, I give her my full attention. "I'd love to hear it."
She licks her lips, and puts her purse on the back of her chair. "Before I could talk myself into leaving I thought about what I wanted in my marriage. I was never able to get it, and I always wondered what it would be like to have the life I dreamed of. Standing on the porch, I realized that wishing for it never got me anywhere. I have to start living it. Regardless of how hard it is, how uncomfortable it feels, I have to work toward that life," she stops for a second, and reaches over to grab my hand. "But I need your help with this. It's going to be so easy for me to talk myself out of any of this. Promise me, Mark. Promise me you won't let me fuck myself over."
I rub the back of her hand, and lean in. With my other hand, I reach over and palm her cheek, forcing her gaze to meet mine. "I'm committed to whatever the two of us can have, Trish. I understand that you and Cora come as a unit, I understand you're trying to deconstruct the life you thought you were going to live, and I get that none of this is going to be easy. All I ask is that you don't ghost me. If you have issues with anything, if you feel uncomfortable, tell me."
"I'll do my best."
"That's all I ask. I can only help you if you let me."
She nods, her eyes swimming in unshed tears. This has to be difficult for her, and I'm not trying to make it harder than it already is "Thank you, Mark."
"Don't thank me. You've done it all."
She inhales deeply. "Only because you gave me the confidence and boost I needed to do it."
"Doesn't matter. You still did it, and don't let anyone take that away from you."
We're quiet for a few moments, unspoken promises hanging between us. But it's not worth it to get into that right now. I give her a smile. "Are you ready to eat?"
"I am. What did you make us?"
Now it's my turn to be slightly less confident than normal. I know I'm a good cook, know that the guys at the fire station love it, but I don't do it for women very often. Not since I moved to Midnight Cove. And I'm desperate to impress her. Can see the future together if she's willing to give us a chance. I want this more than I even wanted to become a firefighter. It scares the absolute fuck out of me, but what I've learned about life is that we have to do things that scare us. If we don't, we'll never know what we're capable of. "Lasagna. Told you I make a mean one. I've got a salad to go with it, and a dessert. Think I told you I'd have you a glass of wine, too."
She laughs, her throat moving up and down with the force of it. "You did tell me all those things. So I'm holding you to it. I don't have a child in my care tonight, so it's possible for me to let my hair down, so to speak."
A smirk works its way across my face. "I'd love to be the person to get you to do that. Are you hungry now? I've already made the lasagna, it just needs to go in the oven."
The tension between us builds as we stare at one another. Her eyes are bright, and the apples of her cheeks are pink. "What are we going to do while it cooks?"
I'm not exactly sure what she's trying ask me. I don't know what she's ready for, because we haven't had that conversation, but I don't want to bombard her with everything all at once. "Whatever you want to do. We can take our wine out to the back porch, and talk. We can turn on the TV and watch a show in silence, if that's what you want."
Her eyebrows raise and a giggle works its way out of her chest. "How did you know that watching a TV in silence is at the top of my damn list? I can't remember the last time I did it. Typically I have a seven-year-old asking me every single question in the world. I've gotten to where I don't even give it a shot anymore."
"Is that what you want to do, then?" I question as I get up and walk over to the fridge. The lasagna is layered already. I grab it out, and turn on the oven, waiting for it to warm up. "Everything that happens tonight is your decision. I want to show you the time you need, the time you want."
She licks her bottom lip. "I don't really even know how this is supposed to go, Mark. It's been so long since I've done anything like this. I just don't want to blow it."
