Page 48 of Claimed By a Savage Scot
Perhaps it was the feeling of being removed from the real world that prompted her to challenge him on his conflicting behaviour towards her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“Malcolm, can I ask ye somethin’?” she began.
He turned to look at her, his eyes dark pools. “It depends on what it is. Ask me and I’ll tell ye.”
“Why did ye kiss me the other night and then just leave like that?”
There it was, the crucial question, out in the open. He looked away at the water, not saying anything for a while.
“I was wrong of me tae kiss ye,” he said eventually, his voice low. “I apologize, Catriona. I left because I kenned I shouldnae have done it.”
“But… I wanted ye tae kiss me. And I kissed ye back.”
“Aye, ye did.” There was a long pause. “And that made things even worse. I blame mesel’. I lost control fer a moment and things went too far. It cannae happen again.”
Catriona’s heart was hurting. She shook her head and frowned, bewildered. “I dinnae understand. I’ve never kissed anybody before. I’ve nay experience. Did I dae somethin’ tae displease ye?”
He let out a small groan. “Nay, nay, lass, never think that. The fault isnae with ye, but with me.”
“But why was it so wrong then? If we both wanted it, how can it be so?”
He suddenly swung around to face her, looking straight into her eyes, his arms resting on his thighs. “Look, Catriona, I wish I could turn back the clock, so it would never have happened. Can ye nae just forget it?”
“Forget it?” she echoed, the pain in the region of her heart expanding.
“Aye. I told ye, it was a mistake. A bad mistake. Look, I cannae give ye what ye want.”
“And what is that?” she inquired, bristling.
The look in his eyes told her all she needed to know. He did not want her. He certainly did not love her.
“Ye’re right. It was a mistake. Me mistake, fer trustin’ ye against me better judgment.”
“It isnae that, lass,” he said, looking pained.
She felt the stabbing pain of rejection all over again, and anger rose up within her. She jumped to her feet. “Dinnaelassme!” she shouted, sending startled birds scattering upwards from the branches.
“Catriona, sit down, please,” Malcolm said as if talking to an rowdy child.
That infuriated her even more. “I willnae sit down. In fact, I’ll nae stay here a moment longer and listen tae yer poor excuses!”
With that, she ran to Matilda, stuck her foot in the stirrup, and levered herself onto the startled mare’s back, grabbing the reins between shaking fingers.
“Catriona, nay, come back here!” Malcolm shouted, running to stop her. But he was forced back as she wheeled about, and he was not quite quick enough to catch hold of the reins as she kicked up Matilda and took off at a gallop back down the track whence they had come.
Like the wind she rode, a storm of hurt and anger raging inside her, urging Matilda onward, thundering back the way they had come. The whole time, she knew Malcolm was on her heels and would probably overtake her. But she was not going to let himstop her, desperate to get away from him and to never have to face him again.
She kept going, past the castle to the shores of the loch behind it, where she finally brought Matilda to a stop by a stand of willow trees that partially hid them. She slid from the saddle and walked down to the water’s edge, hugging herself as she gazed miserably out over the dark waters.
A sob burst out of her, and the tears came, scalding as they streamed down her face, her whole body shaking as she cried and cried. She craved privacy, praying Malcolm would stay away, but she had only been there a few minutes when she heard the sound of approaching hooves.
She knew it was him—the last person on earth she wanted to see—so she did not turn around. Why give him the satisfaction of seeing her so distraught over him?
The sound of hooves and the jingle of a bridle came closer and closer. Still, she did not turn. She heard Malcolm pull up and the thump of boots as he dismounted. The skin on her back prickled as heavy footsteps approached… and stopped just a few feet away.
“Go away and leave me alone!” she shouted through her tears, whirling around to face him.
