Page 41 of Loved By Two
As soon as I close the door behind me, I slide down the wall in a heap and cover my mouth to stifle my sobs. But all that does is increase my panic as I try in vain to not have a full-blown panic attack.
Gasping, I try to get air into my lungs. It’s been a while since I last had one and usually Noah or Caleb help bring me out of it. I try remembering the techniques I’ve learned as white spots and tears blur my vision. Squeezing my eyes closed, I will myself to calm down and find my centre.
Warm, firm hands grip my shoulders. I blink up to see Noah crouched in front of me.
“It’s okay, sweet girl. I’ve got you.”
I let out a choked sob, it’s an ugly sound, as he positions himself beside me and pulls me onto his lap, cradling me against his chest, his palm stroking my back.
“Just breathe, sweet girl.”
The more he consoles me, the harder I cry. And that makes me hate myself because I should be consoling him, not the other way around.
Eventually, I manage to catch my breath as Noah reaches for some toilet roll and passes it to me. My hands shake as I blow my nose. I cringe when he takes it from me and tosses it into the open toilet. They always leave the toilet seat up, something that really irritates me.
That thought is a slap to reality at how insignificant it is in the grand scheme of things.
“Let’s get out of here.” Noah shifts to his feet and somehow picks me up as he goes, carrying me back into our bedroom, where he settles me on the bed before kicking off his shoes and lying down.
“Come here,” he says, raising his arm. I immediately move into him and rest my cheek against his chest as he wraps his arm around me.
“I’m sorry.” I hiccup.
“Shhh, it’s okay, sweet girl. It’s a lot to process, and you have nothing to apologise for.”
I play with the string of his joggers.
“But I do, Noah. The last thing you need is to be worrying about me.”
He kisses the top of my head.A soft chuckle vibrates through his chest against my cheek.
“I will never not worry about you, sweet girl. You should know that about me by now.”
My lips rise into a smile. Because yeah, I do, of course I do. Outside of my Nan and Mason, I have never felt more loved than I do by Noah and Caleb.
“We both do,” Caleb says, the bed dipping as he joins us and spoons me from behind, his hand resting on top of mine over Noah’s abdomen.
“You not going into the office today?” Noah asks.
I feel Caleb’s warm breath against the back of my neck.
“No. I cancelled all my appointments for the week. I’m right where I need to be.”
Caleb works hard, and the fact he’s done that not just for today but for the rest of the week speaks volumes. The irony is he doesn’t have to work so hard. He owns the company, but he prides himself on his work ethic.
“Thank you,” Noah replies, and I hear the sincerity in his voice, knowing he never would have asked but knowing how much he appreciates it.
“You never have to thank me. You and Jessica will always come first, above all else. You can rely on me, Noah, now more than ever.”
His words are a soothing balm. Because he means them with everything that he is.
“I know I can. Right now, I just need to be close to you—both of you,” Noah replies.
“And you have us,” Caleb says. “But later, we’ll need to discuss getting you the best possible care.”
“Yeah, I know,” Noah says, his voice tired, resigned. “And we will.”
It’s a conversation that no one ever wants to have.
