Page 40 of Loved By Two
“I need to have surgery, and then we’ll know if I need treatment. I have some leaflets, but they’re in the glove box of my car at Elliot’s.”
“Good, I’m glad you didn’t drive if the fumes you’re giving off are anything to go by.”
He cringes at that. Yeah, he probably won’t be drinking again for a while.
“Let me cook you something to eat,” Jessica says softly.
On cue, Noah’s stomach grumbles, causing her to let out a small laugh. But it’s impossible not to hear the quiver of emotions in her voice.
“I’d like that,” he replies, and Jessica pushes herself to her feet and straightens her top before holding her hands for us to join her.
She loves being in the kitchen, it’s where she feels at home. It’s why I had the kitchen renovated in our Camber Sands property.
Noah moves to sit on a stool at the breakfast bar, and I pull out a carton of fresh orange juice, pouring us all a glass.
“How about a nice fry up?”
“Sounds good,” Noah says.
I nudge him as I perch on the stool beside him.
“You think you can keep it down?” I ask playfully.
He smirks at that. “I bloody hope so,” he says, his stomach growling again.
“Did you even eat last night?” Jessica chastises, and I know without a doubt that if and when she’s ready, she’ll make an amazing mother. Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, if I’m being honest.
“Pretty sure Elliot forced some pizza down me.”
Bringing the glass to his lips, he swallows the cool orange juice, his throat rolling from the motion,
It seems so surreal talking about food under the circumstances, but I also feel like we need this moment to gather our thoughts, the news that Noah just delivered a heavy weight.
I think deep down I knew something was wrong. This is Noah, he never acts like this, but maybe I wanted to pretend like everything was all right, even if, in my gut, I knew something was off. This is why I trust my instincts, especially when it comes to both Jessica and Noah.
We need to get him the best possible treatment available. The alternative that he might not… no, I can’t even finish that chain of thought.
I grab hold of his hand and brush my thumb over the infinity symbol tattoo on his ring finger. I’ve never thought I needed to make what we have official, but now, at this moment, I very much want to give Noah and Jessica the love they deserve, vows and all.
With my mind made up, I know what I have to do next, just as soon as we decide on the best care available to see Noah through this.
I bring the back of his hand to my mouth and kiss his knuckles.
“I love you,” I whisper, my eyes finding his warm ones staring back at me.
He smiles, but his lips tremble as he swallows hard before replying, “I love you too, Caleb.” He reaches for Jessica’s hand as she comes over with some cutlery. “I love you both.”
I don’t miss the crack in his voice, the wariness of the unknown.
Knowing there are not enough words to convey how Ifeel in the moment—orthe deep-rooted fear of what’s to come—I realise that, despite always priding myself on control, at this moment, I have none. Not even the best-laid plans can determine the outcome.
I know the anger will come, and that I will need to physically release my feelings, but I can’t be selfish, not right now. Regardless of my own maelstrom of feelings, this isn’t about me. It’s about Noah, and he needs Jessica and me more than ever before.
Chapter Sixteen
JESSICA
I can barely breathe as I make my way to the bathroom. I tried to hold in my emotions as much as possible, but Noah’s diagnosis was almost suffocating, the weight of it pressing down on my chest to the point of cutting off my airways.
