Page 130 of Loved By Two
“We’d like you to have regular follow-up appointments so we can monitor for recurrence and your recovery. And address any concerns you might have. As well as further discussions about reconstruction.”
I nod. We agreed it would be best to undergo the mastectomy first and discuss reconstruction later to allow for healing and reduce complications, especially if radiation was needed which brings me to my next question.
“And what about treatment?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “We don’t believe further treatment is necessary.”
I let out an audible breath. This is better than any outcome I could have envisioned. I know nothing is for certain, but rightnow, I will count my blessings and take comfort and support from the two most important people in my life.
Chapter Fifty-Three
JESSICA
I don’t know what I expected when I came off my contraceptive. I guess maybe I thought after six months of trying we’d fall pregnant.
And yet here I am cramping, having just got my period again.
Stripping out of my clothes, I step into the bath and allow myself to sink beneath the bubbles, only keeping my head out of the water.
I close my eyes and will the tears away, but it’s pointless.
What am I doing wrong?
I want to give Caleb and Noah this one thing, and I’m failing them at the first hurdle. I can’t help the myriad of emotions kicking my arse right now, or maybe it’s the fact my uterus currently feels like it’s being pulled through a meat grinder.
The way those two men smiled when I agreed to try would have knocked me off my feet if I had been standing. I’m beyond desperate and don’t want to let them down. Maybe it’s irrational, but I can’t help how I feel.
After everything Noah has been through with his cancer diagnosis and his treatment, I don’t want to wait. Life is too short, too unpredictable.
Deep down, I understand that not one body is the same, and I shouldn’t expect to just fall pregnant at the drop of a hat. But I have two men I’m sleeping with, I’d like to think that would give me double the chances.
But evidently not.
I close my eyes and quietly sob, feeling utterly useless. It’s probably my hormones that aren’t helping, and yet I can’t see reason.
“Sweet girl,” Noah says.
I sit up so fast water sloshes over the edge of the tub and I bring my palm to my chest.
“Noah,” I say breathlessly, I didn’t even hear him enter.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, crouching down beside the bath and gently gripping my jaw. “Why are you crying?”
I want to tell him that I’m not, that it’s water from the bath but the fact I can barely contain my sob is enough for me to be honest.
“I came on,” I reply, my voice catching.
His expression softens as he drops my jaw and begins taking his clothes off. Even though he’s still very self-conscious at times, he’s getting better about having his clothes off in front of us and showing his scar.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Joining you, what does it look like?”
My eyes go wide. “But I’m on my period,” I reply, my cheeks heating.
Noah cocks a brow. “Like that would stop me. If memory serves, Caleb and I have fucked you multiple times while you’ve been on. So bathing with you is no different.”
I want to argue that it is, but he’s already climbing in behind me.
