Page 125 of Loved By Two
“Anyway, tell me how you really are?”
I sigh as she reaches for the teapot, lifting the lid. Satisfied, she pours the tea before adding milk and passing me my mug.
“Thank you,” I say, bringing it to my lips and taking a sip.
I watch as she does the same before dunking a biscuit. She raises an eyebrow as she eats, and I know there’s no way I’m getting out of this.
I lower my mug, resting it on the cushion in my lap. “I’m… I don’t know, frustrated, numb, angry,” I admit. “Nervous about the outcome of my follow up.”
Maggie nods. “All valid Noah, but it’s okay to talk it out with Jessica and Caleb. Nothing good can come out of bottling it all up and pushing them away.”
“It’s not on purpose,” I say, my voice tired. “I just feel really angry. Not at them. I’m worried if I say too much, I’ll inadvertently end up hurting one of them and that’s not my intention.”
She holds out the plate, and I take a custard cream for myself.
“They’ll understand. You’re only human, Noah.”
“I just feel like half a man, Maggie.” And it’s superficial to think that way, I know this, it’s why I feel guilty, because what’s the alternative, scars or life?
I know there is no comparison, and I count my blessings. Every day is a gift, but I just feel so damn low.
“You’re not your diagnosis, Noah. And scars don’t define us, internal or external. Talk to Jessica and Caleb, tell them your feelings, your worries, your concerns.”
I force myself to eat the biscuit as I mull over her words.
“It’s a lot to put on their shoulders, they shouldn’t have to carry it.”
She reaches for my arm and squeezes. “Of course not, but they’re here for you for better or worse just as you are them. It’s okay to let your guard down, to air your fears, to be vulnerable.”
“I know, you’re right and too damn wise for your own good,” I say, smiling. She reminds me a lot of my mum. She would have loved Maggie.
Sipping her tea, she just shrugs. “What can I say, I was blessed.”
I nod because she’s not wrong. “And aren’t we the lucky ones for having the privilege of knowing you?”
Her cheeks warm at my words. “Okay, you can have the biggest slice of cheesecake after dinner.”
I know she’s just trying to blow off my compliment, because she’s always treated everyone the same.
“And what’s for dinner?” I ask.
She smiles. “One of your favourites. Pie mash and liquor.”
“Maggie, you might just be one of my favourite people, you know that right?”
Hiding behind her mug, she rolls her eyes, but I don’t miss the curve of her lips before she sips on her tea.
Maybe I needed some tough love. Sitting here wallowing and being angry at the universe isn’t going to help anyone. I hope it will pass, but if it doesn’t, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
“I just want my kids happy,” she eventually says, and it warms my heart because she has always treated me like family, no different to how she treats Caleb and Jessica.
“We know, and we love you for it.”
This time she doesn’t hide her smile.
Chapter Fifty-One
CALEB
