Page 91 of Cruel Embers
“And I will, but not until I know we’re okay, Nathan.”
I swallow, a heavy weight settling in my stomach as I wait for him to tell me we’re fine and that we’ll get past this. He needs to accept that it was an accident because if he doesn’t, we won’t move on from this, and that's not something I want to think about. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, not even Tanya.
“I know, Vi, but I think I just need some time.”
I bite my lip and immediately regret it, my tongue sweeps over the sore, but I haven’t broken the skin again, so at least there’s that. Not that it would matter, because the pain currently settling in my chest is the one that's consuming me at present.
“How much time?” I ask, my voice cracking.
He shakes his head. “Honestly, I don’t know. I had to see you for myself, to see what I did.” His fingers trace a feather-like touch over my cheek, my eyes fluttering closed for a second before focusing on his intense gaze. “Seeing you hurt because of me, it’s too much,” he admits.
I don’t know how to respond. He looks so broken, and I want to make this right. This is my fault for being so stubborn and inserting myself into the situation by going with him in the first place.
“I’m sorry, Nathan, I should have let you go. If I hadn’t gotten in your car…” His thumb wipes away a stray tear.
“No, you’re why I didn’t beat Christopher to a pulp. I wasn’t listening to reason.”
Dipping his head, he captures the corner of my mouth in a soft kiss before pulling back.
“Rest, Vi.”
My heart is thundering in my chest, my body coming alive with adrenaline.
“Please, Nathan, I… I love you.”
Nathan swallows hard, his jaw tight.
“Then you understand why I need to do this.”
I shake my head this time, not caring that my brain feels like it's bouncing off my skull.
“No, I don’t.”
When he stands, I don’t try to stop him because he’s already made up his mind. “I’m sorry, Vi.”
My ears buzz, the sound thunderous as I watch him walk to the door, my tears free falling now. I told him I loved him, and he’s still walking away.
ChapterForty-Six
NATHAN
It’s not the first time today she told me she loved me, yet I never said it back because if I had admitted it out loud, I know I wouldn’t be taking the coward's way out by walking away. I’m weak when it comes to her, even now, every thought is telling me to keep walking, but my heart is screaming for me to turn around.
When I get to the bottom of the stairs and round the banister into the living room, Lottie is sitting on the sofa, her feet propped up on a poofy cushion.
“You might want to go check on her,” I say, my voice hoarse.
She tilts her head to the side and then pushes herself to her feet, placing a hand over her stomach as she walks towards me.
“What’s going on?” she asks as Ethan comes in from the kitchen with two mugs in his hands.
“I need some time,” I say, my lips moving, my voice small. Unlike the screaming in my head telling me to go back up there, I can’t no matter what spin she puts on this, it’s all on me, and I hurt her because of it.
“What do you mean, did you break up?”
I try to answer Lottie, her eyes wide, but my chest is constricted almost to the point of cutting off my airways.
She nods, and I expect her to yell at me and tell me what an arsehole I am, but instead, she goes up on tiptoes and kisses my cheek softly before wrapping her arms around my neck, her bump prominent between us.
