Page 95 of Burning Embers
He looks to the chair. “Do you mind if I sit?”
“Have at it,” I reply, trying not to let my irritation show.
“Listen, it’s true—I haven’t been the best father or role model. But I’m getting help, and I want a chance to remedy my behaviour.”
I clear my throat. “And by remedy it, you mean, you’re serious about being a family?” I don’t see the point of sugar-coating the truth. As much as I can’t stand him, I kind of respect the fact he’s shown up here.
“Honestly, I can’t say I won’t stop trying. Rach and I have a history. But I’m also not blind. I see the way she is with you.”
“So, what you’re saying is, you’re not giving up without a fight.”
“I’m saying, I will respect her decision and won’t stand in your way if she chooses you. But I will give it my best shot.”
“You had ample opportunities. You fucked up, man. Your priority should have always been her and Molly. Just do right by Molly.”
He gets to his feet and holds out his hand. I shake it once before he turns and leaves. Deep down, I wonder if he will pursue Rachel again… Maybe if he’s getting the help, she’ll consider what he’s offering.
The more I sit here and stew over it, the more anxious I become. I don’t do well in this kind of quiet. It messes with my head.
Boredom must have won out because when I open my eyes, a fresh scent washes over me, and I know it’s her.
“Hi,” she whispers, reaching out and stroking my face.
She looks exhausted. “Is everything okay? Is Molly all right?”
“She’s been clingy. I’m not surprised after everything, but otherwise, she’s fine. Missing you. How are you feeling?”
I let out an exaggerated sigh. “Ready to go home.”
“Not until they give you the all-clear.”
For some strange reason, this feels awkward. I shift uncomfortably and flinch. She springs to her feet. “Do you need a nurse? Should I call someone?”
I squeeze her hand. “I’m fine. Honestly, I’ve been worse.” And it’s true. The pain from the burns I received from the fire was the worst I’ve ever felt, and although I probably couldn’t put it into words, I know this is slight in comparison.
“I feel so guilty,” she says, her eyes glassy.
How many times do we have to go over this? “Don’t. Please stop being ridiculous, come here.” I tug on her hand, and she moves closer. I’ve never wanted to hold her more than I do right now.
“I’ve been selfish thinking I could have you.”
I can’t help but laugh. “And how is it selfish? You deserve to have someone who’ll stand beside you, Rachel.”
She wipes at her cheeks, angrily. “Because of me, you could have died, and Molly, could’ve—“ She doesn’t finish her sentence.
I pull her close and try to hug her awkwardly. “Will you get on this damn bed so I can hold you?”
Sniffing back her tears, she doesn’t fight me, managing to lay on her side, facing me. “It’s okay, everything’s okay,” I repeat, caressing her cheek.
When her breathing calms, and her tears subside, I pull her hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles. “You okay now?”
“Sorry, you’re the one in hospital, and I lost it.”
“You’re allowed to be upset, Rachel.”
She locks eyes with mine. “So, you don’t hate me?”
I grunt out a response. “Not possible.” Her warm smile will be the death of me. “I had a visitor earlier,” I say, stroking her hair.
