Page 31 of Tide
“Yeah. What are you doin’ here?”
“Came to see you. Thought we could talk.”
“About what?” I’m short with him. I have to be.
“Mylah left me.”
“She left you?”
“Is she here?” he asks. I shake my head, not willing to give him any more information than that.
“She ain’t here.”
“You haven’t seen her?”
“No.”
“I get why you chose her, Pop.”
“No, I don’t think you do, Christian.” He has no fucking idea. None at all.
“I do. She’s a good girl. I fucked up, Pop. I shouldn’t even be here, but I have no one else to talk to.”
“You’re tellin’ me you want her back?” Anger courses through my veins. He isn’t having her back. She’s mine.
“I can forgive the two of you for what happened. I should, shouldn’t I? You’re my dad for fuck’s sake.”
“And I fucked your girlfriend, Christian. The last thing you should do is forgive me!” I snap at him. He shrugs his shoulders and sits in the chair across from me.
“It seems like the right thing to do.”
“For who?”
“I want her back, Pop. This thing with you and her? It’s over. She isn’t coming back to you.” His words grind a gear inside of me. He thinks she isn’t coming back to me? Has he lost his goddamn mind? The only place she’s going is back to me.
“The choice was easy, Christian. I’m not a good father. Hell, I’m not a good man. I chose a woman over my own son. How fucked up is that? As far as forgiving me? You shouldn’t. When she shows up here, I’m keepin’ her, and there’s nothin’ you can do to stop me. You fucked her over, and now I’m fixin’ it.”
“Just let her go, Pop. I’m the better man here,” he says, and he’s right. He is the better man but that doesn’t mean I’m letting her go.
“First thing you’re right about. You are the better man. I can’t promise her that I’ll stay out of prison. I can’t promise her I won’t fuck things up along the way. Hell, I can’t promise her a damn thing, but you know what? Neither can you. Because shit happens and none of us can see it comin’.” Just as I’m about to say more, Storm walks into the gym.
“We got some news. You wanna hear it?” I nod my head before looking back at Christian.
“You said what you needed to say. I’m not changin’ my mind on this. I’m sorry, son. This is all kinds of fucked up on my part, but you might as well run back to your momma.” With that, I stand and walk out of the room. I hear him moving around behind me but I don’t look back. This is it. This is our breaking point. I chose her. I chose the girl I wanted over my own son. Is that all kinds of fucked up? Yeah, it is. But I also know where my future is. I can’t repair what I’ve done to Christian over the years. I’ve broken that trust, that bond that we might have shared once. Hell, even thinking back on it, we really didn’t share shit.
I follow Storm into the office and turn to look over my shoulder as I watch my son walk out the door and probably out of my life. You would think I would feel some kind of way about it but I don’t.
“You okay?” I turn back to see Patch sitting at his desk and nod my head.
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“You two talk?”
“Not really. I said what I needed to say. Things between us were never that great anyway, you know?” Patch nods his head, knowing all that.
“I get it, Tide. Might not feel like it to you, but I do. We all do.”
“Appreciate that, Prez.”
