Page 45 of Tide
“What daddy wants, daddy gets. You'd better remember that, Mylah.”
“This is different, Tide. This is marriage for fucks sake.”
“I didn’t plan on lettin’ you go anyway. This just seals the deal.”
“Can we talk about this?”
“What did I just say? Daddy gets what he wants.”
“Marriage, Tide. That’s a big step.”
“We live together now, Mylah.”
“I didn’t plan on staying with you forever! It was temporary!”
“Until it wasn’t. You’re not goin’ anywhere. You and my baby are stayin’ with me. End of discussion.”
“You can’t do that. You can’t decide for me,” I protest.
“Sounds like I just did. Let’s go,” he says, pulling away from me and walking out the door. I trail behind him, cursing him under my breath all the way out the door.
“You can stop that anytime now.”
“Stop what?”
“You wanna be spanked, Mylah? Is that what this is? You testin’ daddy’s patience with you today?” he turns to look at me, waiting for me to answer and I don’t have one. Tide reaches for me, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and pulling me closer to him. “You said what you needed to say, sweetheart, and I listened. But I didn't agree. I said we’re gettin’ married and that’s the end of that.”
“What if I’m not ready?”
“For what? To be married to me?”
“All of this, Tide. What if…what if I’m not a good mom?”
“Are you kiddin’ me? You’re gonna be a great mom, Mylah. You love people, animals, and children. Don’t do that to yourself, baby. You’re gonna be the best mom.”
“What if I’m like her?” He knows exactly who I’m talking about, and I see the anger in his eyes when I say the words.
“You’re nothin’ like her. Nothin’ at all. Don’t you dare compare yourself to someone that left their child. You would never do that, Mylah.”
“I’m scared, Tide.”
“Of what?”
“Not being good enough for you, for this baby.”
“Are you crazy? I should be the one sayin’ that, not you. I’m the one whose been a fuck up for half my life. You got this, darlin’. I know you do.” His words mean everything to me. I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest as he holds me tightly. I want this to work, but I’m scared. I’m scared that he’s going to leave me. I’m scared that somehow I will mess this up.
Tide presses a kiss to the top of my head before I pull back and look up at him.
“Are you sure about all this?”
“I’m very sure, baby. We’re gonna do this. We’re gonna be great parents.”
“Are you ready for a baby again?” I laugh a little.
“I actually miss those days. When they need you the most. The times that they rely on you for everything. Yeah, we’re gonna do this.”
Chapter 25
