Page 104 of Don't Brake My Heart
‘It’s a stunning attack from Gallagher, all on his own – the sort of thing we see from him on his brilliant days. No one else dared. If he pulls this off, it would be legendary, but surely the peloton won’t let him get away, not when he’s still within striking distance of the young rider classification. It’s clear now what he wants and after that crash in the Pyrenees, he’s got some guts to still be going for it.’
I couldn’t have written better marketing copy myself.
‘But surely he won’t make it all the way, not from here.’
The commentator was probably right. Colin could be proud of an attack like that regardless of the outcome, especially since he caught the breakaway just before the top of the pass. There were 50 km to go and two more climbs. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to survive it.
Chapter 39
Colin
I’d come too far to stop now, even though I could taste metal in my mouth and my stomach was threatening to eject its contents all over the road. I would see the endless grey bitumen in a foggy haze in my dreams tonight. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to stop, my legs might lock and I’d keep going until my blood poisoned my lungs and that was it: game over.
But in a few minutes… just a few minutes, Leesa might put her arms around me again. I knew this was the last climb, but I also knew the last climb always felt three times as long as the rest of the stage.
Steady, breathe…
There was only Den Otter with me now; the other two from the breakaway had fallen back, exhausted. The Dutchman was looking worse for wear – although I knew I was too. But I had more pride. I was certain of that. My pride always flared when I was knocked down, when I was low and frustrated and a little bit desperate.
And when I thought of Leesa putting her hand in mine, despite my years of acting up, growing up so I could meet her in a place where we were level – like the top of this fucking mountain – I was more than a little desperate to get there.
Alan’s voice came over the radio, vibrating with a restless quality that was odd for him. ‘1 km, C. You’re doing it. They can’t catch you now. The peloton is too far behind. You’re knocking it out of the park. Steady as she goes. Don’t blow up now!’
The fog was a kind of embrace as the seconds ticked by, accompanied by Alan’s updates on my progress towards the blessed end of this torture. I should have been looking at my instruments. We had tested exactly how long I could keep up these levels of power, but I was running on instinct, feeling my own limits.
This was my heart on the line. Win or lose, I would show Leesa what I was made of, what I would throw into a relationship with her. I would goddamnmakeit possible to stay together.
‘500 m!’ came Alan’s voice, high-pitched with excitement now.
I heard Leesa’s voice in my head:It would be better if you won!
The road was lined with spectators jostling for a good view behind the barriers, cheering and whistling as they got their show: two escapees on their way to defeating the peloton, about to fight it out for the stage win, because second place wasn’t even close to a consolation.
Hyper-aware of Den Otter, clinging to my wheel now, I decided this stage wasmine. Not for Dad – or Mum – or PowerFuel or any other sponsor. For the guys, yes, because without them I wouldn’t be here, grabbing this moment by the balls. Butmyname was going to be on the record today.
I felt my opponent about to try, a slight change in the fog between us, but I was quicker, jolting my body right back up to maximum. My lungs burned. I felt as though someone had turned me inside-out and my organs were hanging off my skin. But none of that mattered. It didn’t matter that I could barely see through the encroaching blackness at the edges of my vision.
The finish line was just ahead. Three more seconds – the longest of my life. The road was clear before me. Den Otter couldn’t catch me. The line was hazy and jagged in my brain, but I raised my arms over my head and bellowed from somewhere deep inside me.
Stage 16: Colin Valerio Gallagher, Harper-Stacked. My first stage win. My firsteverything– with Leesa watching. I was never going to let her go.
The first thing I did, before I even stopped rolling, was clap Julian den Otter on the back. He’d had an epic day and we would face each other again without a doubt. The second thing was scan the crowd for the one face I wanted to see, finding her easily, as she was rushing through the mêlée as though I’d just survived a hostage situation, not simply a stage of the Tour de France.
I managed to get my feet down to catch her, hauling her tight against me as the bike clattered, forgotten, to the ground. With a whump, everything in me settled. No more restlessness.
Her hands gripping my face, she made a sound suspiciously like a sob and then her mouth was on mine, tight and urgent. One hand on the back of her head, I deepened the kiss to scalding, setting off all the sparks we’d always had and feeding the flame inside me that was just for her.
There was no way I wasn’t saying it. I took a moment to marvel that this was happening, that she was peering up at me, tear-stained cheeks and the chin dimple I adored, then with one more gentle, soothing kiss, I looked her in the eye and said the words that had lived in me for a lot longer than I’d ever admitted. ‘I love you, Lees.’
Those gorgeous eyes widened. ‘You… what?’
It wasn’t the most flattering response, but her arms tightened around my neck.
‘Shhh,’ I managed gently. ‘I know, it hasn’t been straightforward between us and I screwed up a lot, but I’ve loved you for such a long time. I loved you before I knew what that meant, let alone what to do with it. Yeah, maybe at the beginning, I didn’t know you well, but these past few weeks… You’re so real to me now and I love you so much more than I—’ My voice gave out and I had to blink away the spots in my vision.
‘Hey.’ It was her turn to soothe me, wrapping her arms around my chest and holding me up as Chris rushed to help me stumble to the team area. He pressed a recovery drink into my hand and I guzzled it greedily and demanded another with a flick of my hand.
I stayed standing for another half a second before my legs gave out and Leesa had to ease me to the ground.
