Page 63 of In My Heart
“I guess,” I shrugged. “I just…things have moved on between the three of us…you, me, and Arran. I love him too Cal, and I feel safe with both of you. I trust you, so I think it’s okay, isn’t it? It’s okay if I want to move things on?”
“Whatever you want is okay, beautiful, as long as you’re ready. You don’t need to rush anything. Arran and I…we both love you too. We’re not going anywhere.”
“I know that too,” I agreed. “But I want this with you guys now. I’m not rushing anything. It’s getting to the point where I think I might explode if we don’t move past kissing and holding each other,” I admitted with a nervous laugh.
“So where are you moving the limit, babe? I need you to be clear so we don’t push you beyond what you’re ready for.”
“I’m getting rid of it, Cal. No more limit with you and Arran. I don’t need that now. I trust you guys to stop if something triggers me while we’re together. Otherwise I want everything with you both…well, maybe not everything. There are things…stuff I don’t think…I’m not sure…” God, I was bumbling. “I want sex, and all the stuff that can come before. Anything more…um…unusual? Well, we should discuss that, right?”
“Yes, Cara. We would discuss things before if we were going beyond what you’re familiar or completely comfortable with. We’ll discuss things like limits later too. We would never do anything to scare or harm you.”
“Should Arran be here?” I asked as I looked around but found the room empty. “Is it weird to talk about this stuff with me when it’s your brother too?”
“Arran’s just grabbing a shower, but he knows we’re having this conversation. And it’s not weird for me and Arran. We’ve shared women before…way before you ever came here.” He added the last with a slight hint of panic, and I just smiled.
“I know you guys have had sex before, Cal,” I laughed. “What does it mean you shared a woman? Like had sex together?” I questioned, confused.
“Not with each other! Never with each other!” he clarified instantly. “We’ve just been together with a woman before, sharing her, pleasuring her between us. It works for us sometimes. I guess it wouldn’t be for other brothers, but Arran and I have always been incredibly close.”
“So you…do you want to dothat…with me….both of you?” I stuttered.
I was getting hotter by the second at just the thought of them both naked and sandwiching me between them.
“How would you feel about that? It’s not something we need to try if you’re not into it. Like we’ve always said, you’re completely in control of the decisions here.” He told me as he pulled me closer and settled me so I was sitting in his lap more comfortably. I lay my head against his chest and held his hand in mine.
“I…I like the idea of the both of you being with me,” I admitted after a few moments of thought about it. “Lying between you two is my favourite place in the world to be, so I think…if it were more than just you holding me…well, that would be pretty awesome, wouldn’t it?”
“I think it would be, babe,” he agreed as he ran his hand up and down my back soothingly.
“I love you so much, you know?” I told him contentedly. “Even when everything is falling apart and I feel like my own mind is trying to drown me, being with you like this…it makes it all stop. It gives me peace to just be, and I’ve never had that before…not that I can remember anyway.”
“I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you have a lot more of that peace in your life moving forward, Cara. I love you too.”
CHAPTER 17
CARA
When Arran walked into the room a short while later, Cal had handed me off to him and resumed whatever he was working on.
I had happily curled up against Arran’s side when he settled on the sofa with me there. He put on an action movie and I had pretended to be watching it as my mind ran a million miles an hour. I couldn’t stop thinking about the things I had told Cal, and the bold statement I had made to Arran.
I had told them I was ready for what came next, and Cal had asked me about being with both of them! Just the thought of that had me clenching my thighs together tightly as my face filled with heat.
I wanted that. God, did I want it! And sitting there with both of them, Arran holding me, his fingers brushing soothingly over my bare arms, the denim of his jeans rough against my bare legs, it was amping me up more and more.
I couldn’t stop analysing every single movement from either of them - every touch or change in breathing from Arran. Would they do anything that night, right there in the lounge? We were the only ones in the house. Dio had gone home with Terza to take care of some of the repair jobs she needed doing, and after that he had told us he had a meeting that would run late.
The heat within me built, my heart beating too hard and fast at just the notion of Arran making a move to change this supposed relaxed evening into something more. I glanced up at him, and he lowered his gaze from the screen, smiling at me gently before looking back to the screen. I glanced to Cal, but he seemed completely absorbed in whatever he was working on. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they weren’t ready to go there with me yet and I was being too eager.
But that didn’t calm down the need building in me. I fidgeted on Arran’s lap as my core tightened uncomfortably. I could feel the moisture building there, and I was worried it would seep through the cotton shorts I was wearing.
The room around me started to feel smaller, the tension in me building. I could hear the soft tapping of keys as Cal continued working away - steady, focused. How could he be so calm after the conversation we had? Wasn’t he turned on from just thinking about it?
The realisation that he obviously wasn’t, had me feeling insecure. Had I pushed too hard? I had told them what I wanted, but I hadn’t even thought to ask them what they wanted. I had just assumed.
Just as I started to fill with embarrassment, Arran’s arm tightened around me, warm and solid, his hand finding its way to rest just above my elbow.
It wasn’t new. Arran was always touching me when we lay together. He’d been brushing his fingers up and down my forearm on and off since we sat down, but now he seemed to be moving with more purpose and feeling.
