Page 98 of In My Heart
“There you are,” he murmured.
I tried for a smile and failed miserably.
He crossed the balcony without hesitation, the cold clearly not bothering him.
“Hey.” His hands settled gently on my shoulders. “Why'd you disappear?”
“Couldn't sleep.”
“I noticed.”
There was no accusation in it. Just worry. All anyone ever seemed to do now was worry about me. I missed Cal’s constant smiling and happy, care free side, but I saw less and less of it the more I fell apart.
I looked away again, blinking hard against the sting in my eyes.
“I didn't want to wake you,” I whispered.
“You've been upset all night,” Cal pointed out, as he crouched in front of me, trying to catch my gaze.
My throat tightened.
“I'm fine.”
He gave me a look that said he didn't believe that for a second.
“Cara.”
That was all it took. I hated lying, and that was what I did every time I tried to tell them all that I was ‘fine’ constantly. It was even harder to do when they seemed to know the truth every time, well before I even opened my mouth.
I exhaled shakily and stared out over the city again.
“I keep thinking about Rafe.” My voice came out smaller than I intended. Shaky and weak. “I shouldn't have left him alone.” Cal stayed quiet, letting me talk. “He was hurt and angry and I just…” I swallowed hard. “…I walked out anyway.”
“You didn't abandon him.”
“It feels like I did,” I squeaked through my tight throat. “What if he doesn't forgive me? What if this breaks our relationship? I only j-just got him back, Cal.”
Cal's expression softened painfully. “He’ll come around.”
“You don't know that.”
“No,” he admitted quietly. “But I know your brother. I know how much he loves you.”
“Right now he probably hates me,” I scoffed bitterly.
“No, Right now he hates me, Arran, and Dario. Not you. He’s trying to protect you and we all expected that. He was just hurting.”
“So was I.” The words cracked coming out.
Cal reached for me immediately, his palm warm against my cheek.
“Beautiful…” he uttered softly.
I finally looked at him then, and something in my face must have undone him a little, because his entire expression gentled even further.
“He threatened your lives,” I whimpered. “And Dante's still gone,” I went on. “Nobody knows where he is. Every time my phone rings I think…”
My voice broke completely and tears flooded down my face. Cal stood abruptly and pulled me up with him, then before I could react properly, his arms wrapped around me, solid and warm and impossibly safe. He lifted me effortlessly against him, and I clung to him on instinct, arms winding around his neck while my legs hooked around his waist beneath the blanket.
