Page 10 of In My Heart
Her lip trembled and her face scrunched as she fought not to cry again, but she nodded sadly. She needed Cal. He made her feel safe. I was pretty sure there was something more than friendship between them. That didn’t make me feel jealous, despite my own feelings for her. I just felt relieved that Cal would be able to help her through whatever came next, and take care of her, for the both of us. She trusted him more than me, and I was alright with that, as long as she trusted someone to get close and be there for her. In time, she would trust me that much too. I’d make sure of it.
She startled when there was a noise outside the room, and she reached for my shoulder, grabbing a handful of the shirt I wore and gripping it like she dare not let me go.
“I’m no’ leavin’ ye. I’ll stay right here as long as ye want me to,” I promised her as I lay my hand over hers against my shoulder, and fought my own emotions. “Dario’s here now too,” I added when I heard him closing the door quietly behind him.
She lifted her head just enough to see him coming closer, then collapsed down like she was too exhausted to hold herself up.
“Take it easy,Piccola,” Dario cautioned as he hurried closer and leaned in close enough that she could see him. “The doctor said you need to rest.”
She drew an ‘R’ on the bed between us and looked to me, and then to Dario.
“She wants to know where Rafe is,” I told Dario when he looked to me with question.
“She’s not talking?” he asked with concern.
“She will, when she’s ready,” I told him, but I looked to Cara and gave her a reassuring smile, not wanting her to think she had to do a damned thing she didn’t want to right then. “We’re getting’ along just fine wi’out words fer now, aren’t we, darlin’?”
I had a feeling that the fact she hadn’t uttered a word, was linked to the fact she hadn’t made a sound as those bastards had hurt and raped her. Cal and I had been forced to watch on, and we’d seen the blood, knew the pain she had to have been in, but she remained conscious almost the entire time, and during those torturous minutes she never uttered one single sound. She never gave those soon to be dead fuckers one iota of pleasure from her pain.
She’d been so strong while Cal and I had fallen apart as we were forced to witness it all. I had never fought as hard in my life as I had to escape those bindings and get to her. But it had been for nothing. I couldn’t get free. I couldn’t save her, and now this silence she was sticking to - I guessed it was her holding onto the only thing she’d been able to control since it all began. If that were what she needed, we would give it to her, for as long as sheneeded it. I’d love her no matter what, even if she never uttered another word.
Cara tapped the bed, like she was trying to get my attention, and when I glanced down she drew the same letter again.
“Rafe?” I looked to Dario for an answer.
“On his way. He’ll be here soon,” Dario assured her.
She nodded, but her face crumpled and she just started to cry even more desperately than she had before, every tear she spilled breaking my heart open even wider.
“I’m so sorry, baby, about everything. We should never have allowed this to happen,” Dario whispered as he placed a hand on her shoulder and left it there, obviously as desperate as I was to comfort her, but also equally as scared of triggering her in any way.
We just waited, allowing her to release some of the pain I knew she needed to get out, both of us just trying to offer the silent support of simply being there, even if doing only that was killing us both.
I don’t know how much longer we could have stayed back and allowed her to go on, had the door not been thrown open, breaking the moment. Dario and I both jumped up and turned, placing ourselves before Cara. I reached for my gun, but I didn’t have it. It had been lost somewhere in the chaos of the night, but Dario had his and he pulled it from the small of his back in a flash, stopping only when we realised it was Rafe who had entered.
He was still wearing his suit pants and jacket, but the white shirt, which had been covered with Gia’s blood when last I saw him, was gone. Now he just wore his white undershirt beneath hisjacket, and it was stained with blood too, but presumably less than had stained his shirt when he cradled the lifeless body of his sister, earlier that night.
He glanced at Dario and I for only a second, then he moved into the room and rounded the bed. He shucked off his jacket and tossed it to the floor before he leaned across the bed and over Cara, bracing his weight on the metal at the head of the frame.
“Tesorino? I’m here now, and I’m going to pick you up. I need to have you in my arms, alright?” he told her, his voice wavering only slightly at the end of his words.
Cara turned to try and see him, wincing at the tiny movement, but as soon as she saw him she reached a hand toward him. It was all of the permission Rafe needed, and he picked her up carefully, then settled on the bed with her in his lap, clutched in his arms as if he would never allow her to go again, just the way I wanted to be holding her right then too.
CHAPTER 4
CARA
Rafe just held me and allowed me to cry for the longest time. I didn’t even lift my head from where I had it pressed against his chest, just resting there and feeling safe in his arms as all of the pain, fear, and loss just flowed out of me until eventually I must have cried myself beyond exhaustion and passed out.
When I opened my eyes again, hours later, Rafe was still holding me. The blinds in the room had been pulled closed but I could see from where I sat in Rafe’s lap that sunlight was peeking around the edges of them.
The sun had risen and day had come, but nothing had changed. Gia was still gone, and I still felt lost in the wreckage of all that had happened.
I lifted my head enough to see Rafe, wide awake and just watching me. His eyes were bloodshot, and swollen and he looked as broken as I felt.
“Hi,” he whispered with the hint of a shaky smile. I knew he was faking that for me.
I reached for his hand, wrapping it in my own, and held it tightly. There was so much I wanted to say, and yet words still wouldn’t come. Something inside of me was stopping me from breaking my silence and I was too worn down to even try and push it.
