Page 37 of Love & Other Drunken Mistakes
I’m pretty sure they’re texting Nick right now to verify the information. I imagine how that conversation would go:
Nosy Employee
Euan is here with some random blond. Did you two really break up?
Nick
We sure did! I’m a spineless, indecisive loser who doesn’t recognize a good man when I see him—
Okay, that’s probably not how the conversation is going.
I must not be that far off though, because the dungeon master’s expression smooths and they tuck their phone away. “Let me know if you have questions,” they say, a peace offering after potentially insulting a customer by implying they were cheating on their partner.
“Let’s go upstairs,” I say. The goth who ignored us was much better company than the nosy dungeon master.
They pull their hood up as we near the exit, either to prepare for another set of customers or to hide their face.
As soon as we’re at the top of the stairs, I glare back down at the dungeon. “I can’t believe they implied you were a cheater. Our relationship could be totally platonic.”It’s not like theyknowI was fantasizing about Euan.“Or-or you could be polyamorous! Did they ever think aboutthat?”
Euan’s lips twitch. “Nick would also need to be polyamorous or it’s still cheating, and his friends would probably know he’s not.”
“Oh.” Some of my anger cools, but I still glare down the stairs one last time before moving to the other staircase.
After the dungeon, the upstairs is somewhat lackluster. As Euan thought, the toys aren’t themed, though they do comein an impressive variety. Dildoes, vibrators, cock-sleeves, and an entire display dedicated to lube and message oils.
We find the section with the creature cocks, but I’m too distracted to enjoy the ten-inch tentacle or the devil tongue. I trace one finger along the edge of a box, trying to figure out how to ask my question. “So … have you ever used one of these before?”
Euan looks at the box I’m touching. “An ovipositor?”
“A what?” I frown and pay more attention to the box. It features a large cylinder that only barely resembles a cock, and several small eggs. “Shit, no, I meant the dildoes. In general. Do you … use them?” I look at a point on his chin, pretending to be fascinated by his beard rather than too embarrassed to meet his eyes.
“Not this brand. And I prefer touse themon a partner rather than myself.” He waits a beat and then says clearly and succinctly, “I prefer to top.”
My breath catches at the words and the fantasy from earlier reignites—Euan bending me over, thrusting into me, dominating me. Subconsciously, I already knew what the answer would be.
Stepping away from the dildoes—away from temptation—we continue wandering through the other aisles. I keep my hands clasped behind my back this time so that I don’t accidentally touch anything weird.
“What about you?”
“What?” Startled, I look over at Euan. He’s examining a package with various sized butt plugs that advertises “perfect for first time anal training.”
“Would you prefer to top? I’m never sure with bisexual men.”
My cheeks flush and the heat of embarrassment makes my brain short circuit. It takes me a moment to stammer out, “I’ve done both, it’s just been a while.”
“Did you enjoy receiving?” he asks, still not lookingat me.
This is definitely a step too far. We shouldn’t be talking about this even if we’re married—especiallybecause we’re married and determinednot to be. But I still whisper, “Yes.”
He nods without otherwise addressing my admission. Then he holds up the panties, which I hadn’t realized he’s been carrying the whole time. “I’m going to buy these and the ovipositor, as a souvenir for someone.” From the way he smirks, it sounds more like a prank than a gift. “Are you going to buy anything?”
“Why? Are you trying to steal my coupon?” I ask, clutching the small piece of paper protectively to my chest.
He chuckles. “Well, if you aren’t going to use it …”
“I am,” I reply, raising my chin. “But you go ahead first.” I want to pick something out without the pressure of him watching.
He eyes me for a moment, then nods. “Alright, I’ll wait in the car for you when I’m done.”
