Page 35 of Love & Other Drunken Mistakes
“Probably normal, but they might have some creature-themed ones if you’re looking for something different.”
“Creature-themed?” he asks, his brow furrowing.
“You know, with knots or shaped like tentacles.”
His eyes widen at the description. For a moment, I’m sure it’s enough to convince him to explore the upstairs first. Yet his gaze slowly drifts back to the dungeon entrance, drawn to the promise of darker delights. “Let’s go down first.” After a second, he says, “Unless you want to split up?”
Absolutely not. I don’t want to miss a second of his reactions—or his tentative flirting. “Let’s stick together. I don’t want you to get eaten by a dragon.”
“Or fucked by one,” he replies.
The little tease escapes down into the dungeon without looking back.
Chapter Fifteen: Alex
The plastic chains hanging in the basement doorway act like a beaded curtain, blocking off the area while offering a teasing glimpse of the dungeon beyond. I slip my hand through the beads and part them slowly, drawing the moment out.
“Welcome, adventurers! To our dungeon of delights.”
The booming voice startles me into taking a step back. For the second time that day, I collide with Euan. At least this time we don’t fall over. He catches me with a hand on my hip, holding me steady. His hand lingers for a long moment. When he finally takes it away, his fingers brush against me in a gentle caress that sends a shiver down my spine.
“Would you like to play?” the dungeon master asks, drawing my attention back to them.
I expect another bored goth, but this one seems to have a lot more fun with their job. The brown cloak they’re wearing has the hood up to obscure their face. In one outstretched hand, they hold a giant, stuffed twenty-sided die. The other hand looks empty at first, but when I step closer, I see a small metallic twenty-sided die resting in their palm.
“If you roll a nat twenty with the small die, you get a ten-percent discount on one item, not including furniture.”
Furniture?
“If you roll a nat twenty with the big die, you get a five-percent discount, including furniture.” They straighten and pronounce in a dramatic voice, “You may only choose one.”
“What happens if we roll a nat one?” Euan asks, leaning against the counter.
The dungeon master chuckles and gestures for us to look down.
Unlike the counter upstairs, this one is a glass case displaying the more expensive items. There are dozens of different leather collars, some of them thick enough to cover the whole neck. A little sign proudly proclaims: “All leather goods are locally crafted.” Next to the collars are a variety of stainless-steel butt plugs, some with faux gems decorating the end.
But the dungeon master is pointing to a specific section of metal rods. They’re separated into groups, all in their own velvet-lined boxes so you know which ones belong together. Inside each group, the rods are organized from smallest to largest.
“If you roll a nat one on either die, you get a twenty-percent discount on a sounding rod set,” the dungeon master explains.
“What do you do with them?” I ask.
The dungeon master looks at me for a moment, then turns their head toward Euan. Finally, they lower the hood to reveal a curly black mullet and a face full of piercings. “You’re pretty new to this, huh?” they ask. They set both dice down and cross their arms on the counter. “So, a sounding rod goes in the urethra to stimulate the prostate from the inside. The sets come with anywhere between five and ten different sizes, plus instructions on how to use them safely.”
Heat rises on my face the longer they talk. Five minutes ago, I was asking why someone would like men in lingerie, and now I’m getting a lesson on sticking a metal rod in your cock. It’s very different from anything I’ve experienced. I’d done anal before, from both roles, but that was about as adventurous as I’d ever been with a partner.
“You aren’trequiredto purchase it, obviously. You just get the twenty-percent-off coupon if you roll a nat one. So,” they say, straightening up and slapping a rhythm onto the counter, “do you want to roll?”
I glance at Euan, who shrugs. “Umm, sure. Can we both roll?”
“Yeah, but on the off chance youbothwin, you only get one coupon per transaction. Which one do you want?”
“I’ll take the big one,” I say, and they hand me the stuffed die.
Euan accepts the little one, and the dungeon master pulls out a little cardboard tower. Euan tips the die into the tower and it rattles all the way down, landing in the bottom.
“Seventeen,” the dungeon master announces. “Solid, but I’ve got a pretty high armor class. How about you?”
