Page 180 of Bone Deep
Belonging. Love. Home.
My journey with Spence reminds me of some of the complex dishes I’ve learned to make over the years.
The first taste was a little acidic. Then it turned savory on my tongue. Next, little pops of spice—an unexpected heat.
And finally… sweetness.
A perfect finish.
A beautiful symphony of flavors that shouldn't work together but absolutely do.
Spencer Stark is my Perfect bite.
Epilogue
I Have Nothing
Spencer
When a restaurant first opens, they hold a test run a week or two prior to the grand opening to iron out all the kinks. That night is commonly known as Friends and Family Night, something I find both comical and apropos to find myself a part of.
Not that long ago, I was a lone wolf in a suit. With the exception of making sure Tyler had a clear path to a better life—and occasionally allowing Jen to invade my bubble—it's been just me. And it worked. My career thrived, my physical needs were met, and my heart was safe from any kind of risk.
When you're left alone in this world, for whatever reason, you tend to build walls and defenses to keep out anyone that could hurt you. The problem with that? It also keeps out the good people. The people that would never intentionally hurt you. The people that will fight your battles with you. They're the ones that are there when things are good, but their presence is even stronger when things are not.
Do I regret the years I spent being independent to an extreme? Not for a second. My journey is the one I was supposed to take. I was always supposed to land here. Not just in Ryan's arms, but with THRIVE. Helping Tyler chase his aspirations.
I've landed smack dab in the middle of a ragtag group of people with strong personalities, oversized hearts, and absolutely, positively zero boundaries when it comes to showing up for the people they love. They haven't just invaded my life. They've surrounded me. Planted me right at the core.
The thing about it is... I fit.
For the first time in my life, I fit.
I'll never stop thanking Ryan for seeing right through my bullshit. For never once wavering. He didn't run away. He didn't back down. He just kept crashing through every wall I put up until he got through. And then all these incredible people stepped through the rubble left in his wake and surrounded the two of us with love, acceptance, and fierce loyalty.
So yes, Friends and Family Nightisdamn fitting.
Right now, I'm standing in the open kitchen of Butter, looking out into the dining room, and my heart feels like it could explode. A few tables are filled with kids and young adults from THRIVE.
Lexi and Beau are holding court with several of Ryan's former teammates near the front windows. They've all been incredibly supportive of Ryan over the last six months. Well. All except one douche canoe. Every team has a defective unit.
At a table near the center of the room sits the agency crew. Chance occupies one seat while Meg and several of our coworkers fill out the rest. The two empty chairs we'd been saving were claimed a few minutes ago by Betti and Bette—the last two remaining Bettys. Ryan thought it would be hilarious to seat them on either side of Chance. He wasn't wrong. Chance hasn't stopped laughing since they sat down. Betti keeps squeezing his biceps and Bette keeps pinching his cheeks. He looks like he’s loving every second of it.
Everyone else is working tonight. Parker and Dita are playing host at the front entrance, greeting guests and escorting them to tables. Or at least that's the plan. Every time I look up, Parker has somehow wandered back to the football players' table. He, of course, keeps popping suckers in his mouth. I'm fairly certain one of Ryan's former teammates is questioning his entire sexual orientation after watching Parker twirl the candy on his tongue.
Ryan's sisters are handling front-of-house management. Given their event-planning background, they're running the dining room with terrifying efficiency. Shortly after Ryan and I made things official, they decided to stay in Phoenix. They’ve moved their entire business here. Ryan owns the penthouse free and clear, so he told them to just move in and take care of the place.
Meanwhile, Jen, Anthony, and Tyler are serving tonight. Watching Tyler weave confidently through the dining room carrying trays makes my chest ache in the best possible way.
Ryan insisted Tyler design all the uniforms. He gave him complete creative control. The front-of-house uniforms are all black with sharp lines, subtle embellishments, and impeccable style. The kitchen uniforms are a little more whimsical. Traditional chef coats with custom embroidery that mimics the measurement markers on the wrapper on a stick of butter. It's clever. It's ridiculous. It's perfect.
Knowing that Ryan will always include Tyler does things to my heart. I think including people comes as naturally to him as breathing.
The restaurant itself is exactly what he envisioned. Warm. Inviting. Alive. Soft buttery-colored fabrics balance rich wood finishes. Elegant light fixtures cast a golden glow across the room. Framed photographs line the walls. A few showcase moments from Ryan's football career. Championship wins. Team celebrations. Career milestones. But most of the photographs aren't about football at all. Most are about us. Birthday dinners. Game nights. THRIVE events. Holiday parties. Cookouts. The family we've built together hangs on every wall.
Proof that this place was never really about food. It was always about people. About creating a space where everyonebelongs. A place where they can pull up a chair, stay awhile, and know they're welcome.
And standing here now, looking out at all of it, I can't help but think Ryan accomplished exactly that.
