Page 95 of Point Proven
My lip quivered, and my arm covered my eyes. “I know, but I can’t… can’t stop the thoughts?—”
“Please…” Thorne breathed, extending an arm in my direction. “Please,come here.”
I shook my head. “I don’t deserve it. Thorne…”
“Matt, getoverhere. I will not ask again.”
Tears spilled down my cheeks as I nearly launched myself into his embrace. “Thorne, fuck, I’m s-so sorry. I am. I’m so sorry. Everything. I’m sorry for everything,” I wailed, unable to keep it contained.
Curling himself around me, he brought me into his chest. Hand settling on the back of my head, he cradled me in his arms, my face burrowing into that place in his neck where I’d cried inthe past. He loosened a shaky exhale, each syllable he uttered shattering more than the last.
“You… Youcall meif that happens. Do you understand me?” He sniffled, nuzzling into the crown of my head as another sob fell from him. “You fucking call me.”
“Okay,” I cried. “I-I will, Thorne. But I need you to know… know I’m so sorry?—”
“No,” Thorne whispered, planting a gentle kiss where his nose had been resting against my scalp. “I held a fucking grudge, and you weredrowning,begging for someone to listen, and I… I had my head shoved too far up my ass to realize it. I was selfish… and I’msofucking sorry you had to go through all of that alone…”
Nodding, I clung to him as I had in the past. “I’m sorry for hiding it. Not telling you everything after Iraq when… when I had to go alone. I struggled with that, and then it kept piling and piling until I didn’t even know I was drowning. I don’t… don’t want to do it again. Hurt myself. Hurt you. But… But I don’t trust myself. Not yet.”
Fingers tracing softly over my arm, he pressed his face into my hair again. “We work through it together… No more secrets. No more hiding. And if you ever get a thought or a tendency to self-harm… a single suicidal ideation… You call me. And I… I will do the same.”
“Please… I just want… want my best friend back.”
The utterance left me, and a new wave of grief followed like a crashing wave. Imissedhim. Ihadmissed him for so long. We used to do everything together, but now? Now I was lucky to see him once or twice every couple of months. I knew it was my fault for staying in the ranks after everything that happened, for avoiding him because I didn’t want to confess everything I was dealing with, but it didn’t lessen the ache in my heart. We werebrothers, and there wasn’t anyone who would ever compare to him.
Not even Lev could take that spot.
“I-I’m right here…” he breathed, his hold tightening. “I’mright here, Matt.”
“Don’t let me leave… I won’t… won’t let you go either anymore. Ican’t… I just fucking can’t.”
Moving, he slipped his face beside mine, our cheeks brushing. “I-I’m not leaving ever again. I can’t do this life without you, so please… Please stay. Starting today… Don’t go home. Just stay the night…”
Dipping my chin, I settled against him, my shattered inhales leveling with each reassurance. “I’ll stay.” Eyelids growing heavy, I repeated it. “I’ll stay…”
He shifted beneath me, and just as I went to move because I assumed he wanted me off him, he tugged me upward. Settling against the headboard, he brought me to rest against his chest, his legs tangling with mine. The soft lines he traced on my skin grew in length, starting at my wrist before traveling all the way up to my shoulder.
“I’ve got you… I’vealwaysgot you… No matter what happens.”
“Always got you, too…” I mumbled, falling further into that abyss.
The last thing I felt was Mercy nuzzling her way between us, her heavy head landing on my sternum as she tucked herself against me. The chime of a collar was my send-off, and just before I dipped into the darkness, I felt Prince curl up beside my feet.
Home.
I am home.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
OREN
After Simon finished his clay version of a giraffe for Liam, he spent the remainder of his time pesteringme.
Use this color, Oren. Maybe try a lighter color there. Oh, maybe add some purple hues to create a contrast in the background. Maybe use a smaller brush to add the detailing. You should also use white there.
Until I exploded, tossing paint from my brush onto his face. He blinked, stunned for a moment before breaking into laughter. Simon had done it on purpose to see how long I'd last, and he was surprised by how long I had. Apparently, Thorne was good for my patience, and I rolled my eyes at Simon’s sentiment.
Once he finally calmed thefuckdown, I finished, followed by Lev. He drew a raven, and when asked the meaning behind it, a blush crossed his cheeks. I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from grinning.
