Page 9 of Point Proven
Curling my fingers around his wrist, I tugged enough to keep him next to me. “Then, if that’s too much, what happened at the diner? Can you talk about that?”
His skin blanched at the mention, and he craned his head away from me. “No.”
Jaw feathering, I interlocked my hand with his. “Fine, harbor everything inside, but it won’t last. One day, everything will burst, and I’ll be there.” Rubbing my thumb across his knuckles, a shaky breath tumbled from me. “But at least talk to me about that day, the mission… the… the moment that changed everything for us. Ineedto know, Liam. Anything…Anything.”
His throat bobbed, his Adam's apple rising and falling. “I pined for you foryears,and you neversaw me,so why do you even give a fuck now, Simon? It’s in the past. It’s over with. It all happened before you even bothered to bat an eye in my direction.”
“I’ve always given a fuck about you, and if you didn’t know that, then I’m sorry I wasn’t straightforward enough. Ilovedyou for years, too, but it?—”
“You’relying.”
My attention snapped to him instantly, and that mask faded as my lips trembled. His wordshurt, and whether it was my fault or not, I would own up to it. But for him to call me a liar?
Timbre shaking, I gripped his hand tighter. “No, I’m not. Thorne knew I… I had feelings for you?—”
Liam huffed out a laugh. “Wow, good for Thorne. Did all the people you fucked know that, too? Or was it just something you offered on a case-by-case basis?”
“I’m not… proud of my past, and there’s no apology I could offer to erase that stain, but in some fucked up way, I did it to keep you away from me, from discovering how pathetic I was underneath the light-hearted personality. But you were always a constant, and I loved you, always, even before we made it official. And after that day with the land mine? I couldn’t keep doing this thing called life anymore if you weren’t beside me.”
“Yet you openly admit to shoving me away? You openly admit you didn’t want me by your side? Where the fuck is the line, Simon?”
“That’s not… not what I was trying to say. Did I push you away? Yes, because I wanted you to be safefrom me?—”
“Safe from you,how?!” His palm slammed into my shoulder in an attempt to shove me away.“How?”
“Because I mess up everything,” I whispered, unable to hold his gaze. “Because you were everything I wanted, and if it was ripped away by something I did, I wouldn’t recover. I laugh, I smile, and I make jokes to ease the ache in my chest that I’m nothing but a mistake who infects others withbiggermistakes. Was it right? No, but I learned that the misery of not having you was worse than the happiness of being with you… that… that Ineedyou, Liam.”
He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger as a lengthened sigh left him. “That’s your reasoning? If you view yourself in such a negative light, solely because of an assumption of character, then I am far worse than a goddamn virus.”
“You are not a virus, Liam. You… You bring me so much?—”
“Iam,” he hissed. “You wouldn’t understand because you do not know the depth of my past, but if one of us is infested with mistakes, it’s me.”
“You couldneverbe a mistake, no matter what happened in your past.” Placing my thumb on his chin and hooking my pointer underneath, I turned his gaze to look at me. “It’s notpossible, because I know you. I know your heart, because you’ve done nothing but cradle me with a gentleness I’ve fallen head over heels for.”
His tongue danced across his bottom lip as he tried to glance away from me. “You don’t understand, Simon. I am defiled. I am far worse than someone’s sloppy seconds.”
Hauling him closer, my lips brushed against his. “You arenot, nor will you ever be. Maybe I don’t understand, but even if I did, I guarantee you would never hear those words from me.”
Pressing my mouth to his in an attempt to lighten the darkness seeping in, I pulled away to kiss his jaw, the freckles dusting his cheeks, and his forehead. “None of it matters except for you?—”
His utterance came so soft, so faint, that I almost missed it. “I am one of them.”
Brushing my thumb over his skin, I hid the tremor that wanted to shudder through my body at his statement, because some part of me had suspected it. “One… One of them?” I asked for clarification, keeping him by my side to offer whatever comfort I could.
“Yes. I was?—”
Before he could finish, his ringtone interrupted his admittance. Reaching over to grab it, a flash of confusion danced across his features. But it was that lingering uncertainty beneath it that caught my attention as he answered the phone.
CHAPTER FIVE
LIAM
It was an unknown number, and I still answered, pressing the receiver against my ear. “Hello?”
“Hello, littlelamb.”
My breath hitched in my throat, every thought evaporating into nothingness as the realization hit, bringing nausea with it. Hand trembling, an all-too-familiar chill consumed my frame, and my lips trembled as I struggled to speak.
