Page 39 of Surrendering to her Highland Captor
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BLADES AND BONDS
Taryn was all but convinced that if James didn’t kill her first, her guilt would. It gnawed on her, eating away at her soul. She was sure that she was the worst person to have ever walked the earth.
For the last several years, Taryn thought she was living in a dream. Of course, she was always on the run and never truly felt safe, but that had been infinitely better than being imprisoned with Baron Dudley. To find out now that all this time her best friend, her only friend for so many years, had taken her place threatened to bring Taryn’s breakfast up. She felt so undeniably selfish for never having stopped to think about just how her actions might have impacted her people. She had never considered that the entire McGregor Clan would be made to pay for her sins.
The ropes digging into the raw skin around her nearly numb wrists seemed like the least bit of penance she could pay. Despite her surrender, James had still insisted on tying her to the saddle. He seemed convinced that at any given moment, Taryn was going to make another escape attempt. Taryn hadn’t argued or fought him off. She simply did as he asked and felt absolutely wretched the entire time. He didn’t seem to understand just howguilty she was feeling, and she had no idea how to convince him it wasn’t simply a ruse.
Where her mind had been previously occupied with thinking of ways to escape, now all Taryn could think about was how she was going to get Laura away from the Baron. She needed to set her friend free, even if it would cost her her own life. It was the least she could do after the three years of suffering she had already caused the McGregor Clan.
Yet for all the hours she spent thinking of how to get Laura out, there was very little she could come up with. Without Sorcha and Aila’s help, she was left on her own; she doubted that James would willingly go along with any of her plans. Not to mention the fact that she had never actually seen the Baron’s estate. She had no idea what she would be walking into or where Laura would even be. And then, of course, how could she bring Laura home without fear of retribution from the Baron once again? He had already proven time and time again that he was a spiteful, vengeful man. When he found out that Taryn had been under his nose only to steal Laura away, there was no telling what he might do. It wasn’t something Taryn was willing to risk.
As the hours continued to pass and the silence between her and James stretched on, Taryn came to terms with the fact that the only way to solve this whole mess would be to surrender herself. It was all she could think of doing. She would have to turn herself over to Baron Dudley and hope that he would be merciful enough to let Laura go, to cease his attacks on her homeland. Though, knowing what she knew about him and all he had already done not only to the McGregor Clan but the Kincaid Clan as well, made her doubt that would ever happen.
Despair started to creep into her thoughts. Though she tried to prevent it, eventually her shoulders sagged under the weight of everything. Her back bowed and inevitably brushed against James. Every time they touched, she stiffened oncemore, and he would suck in a breath. But that was the extent of their interaction for the day. She knew why he hated her so completely. She was starting to hate herself just as much.
“We will stop here for now. The horse needs a break.”
At James’ announcement, Taryn took in the beads of sweat running down the horse’s neck and steam that came from the animal, despite the cold. It had not yet started to snow, but from the gray clouds in the sky, she knew it would start soon. As hard of a journey as this had been for her, she knew it was nothing like what the horse endured. Carrying their combined weight while sifting through the snow was no easy task.
She was grateful, if only for the animal’s sake, that they were stopping for the night. However, when James helped her out of the saddle and sat her beside the beginnings of a fire, Taryn said a mumbled “Thank ye” for the warmth that would soon return to her fingers.
“Here. Eat,” James ordered, shoving food her direction.
He watched her for a moment as she fumbled with the oatcake, her tied hands impeding her ability to eat with ease. The startling red color of her fingertips hadn’t slipped his notice and once again, he felt torn in two.
He knew she was miserable. He knew she had been suffering. And a very large part of him wanted her to suffer, to feel even a sliver of all he had endured because of her. But there was some small voice in the back of his head telling him that this was not right. It wasn’t her fault that the Baron was a wicked man.
James tore his eyes away from Taryn, forcing himself to think of something, anything else. With her tied, he felt somewhat confident that she wouldn’t get away again. She hadn’t tried, true to her word, but he still felt as though he couldn’t trust her. Not really.
He tried to be angry with her for holding a sword to his throat, for getting the better of him. But every time he thoughtabout it for more than a split second, he found that he was proud. She had obviously picked up many skills in the past three years and become quite a resourceful, independent woman. Nothing like the helpless girl who would visit his parent’s shop for an escape at all.
He had to give her credit—if their roles were reversed, he likely would have done the very same thing. And considering the fact that he had knocked her unconscious after sneaking up on her, he guessed that made them even.
Even with all of his swirling thoughts, that did nothing to ease the tension between them. He couldn’t decide whether or not to hate her, and that made his frustration only continue to build. She confused him entirely, leaving him off kilter. It wasn’t a place he liked to be. And there was nothing he could do about it.
That was the hardest part of it all. It didn’t matter how much his heart tugged on him to care about Taryn and what she needed or wanted. Not while his sister was still imprisoned with that monster. He had already tried everything he could think of to get Laura out without getting Taryn involved, and there simply was no other option. So here he was, stuck and irritated and cold.
In a huff, James threw a log on the fire he had started and kicked it around with his boot. Taryn opened her mouth to say something, but rather than give her the chance to start a conversation, James went back to check on his horse. It had been a long day, and he was ready to settle in for the night and get at least a few hours without running the risk of having to talk to Taryn.
“James,” she whispered.
He rolled his eyes and let the flap of his saddlebags slap closed before he trudged back over to her.
“What, Taryn? Can ye nae see that I?—”
“The bushes,” she said, her lips frozen in a pasted on smile.
Her eyes darted over his shoulder as if she were pointing to something with her gaze.
“Someone is watching us. A few someones, I think.”
Rather than brush her off the way he wanted to, James grew still and listened. A rustling in the brush behind him confirmed what Taryn suspected and had warned him about. Casually, James let his hand slide to the hilt of his dagger as he took in a steadying breath.
“Untie me,” Taryn urged. “Cut me loose and give me a sword. Then, when they are gone, ye can tie me again.”
Before James had the chance to tell her how incredibly foolish he would have to be to follow her instructions, four figures emerged from the woods.
