Page 32 of A Nameless Highland Laird
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Cameron had debated for the better part of an hour whether or not he should seek Charlotte out again that evening. She had left on the excuse that he had things to do, not that she was tired or in need of reprieve. The longer he had sat in his study contemplating what to do, the more he realized that he just wanted to be around her.
It was that thought that had him walking down the hall toward her chambers. He planned on inviting her for another walk through the gardens or to join him in the study, if only as an excuse to share her company once more.
He had almost made it to her door, rounding the last corner before he was there, when the unmistakable sound of a door slamming echoed through the hall. His hand went to the dagger on his hip as he peered around to see just what, or who, had made such a noise.
Staying tucked behind the wall, Cameron leaned over. He felt a little ridiculous for hiding in his own home, but he stayed put all the same. The hallway was covered in shadows from the candles that burned in their holders on the wall, leaving dark streaks on the floor, but it was enough for him to be able to make out the figure leaving Charlotte’s room.
His breath left his lungs as he watched the man stalk out and in the opposite direction. There wasn’t much that he could make out about the man’s appearance other than the fact that he had a stout frame with gangly limbs. Cameron guessed that he was still in between a boy and a man based on his height, but it was hard to tell from a distance. The candle light hit the stranger’s head just right, illuminating his brown hair that hung in a mop around his ears. And just when Cameron thought that he wouldn’t get a look at the man’s face, he stopped and looked back over his shoulder.
The scowl that the man wore caught Cameron by surprise. It was an expression that aged the man considerably, making Cameron realize that they were closer in age than he had thought. From the tanned look of his skin, Cameron could also amass that the man worked outside for a living. If he had to guess, he suspected that this was a servant Charlotte had brought with her entourage who had decided to stick around.
It dawned on Cameron just how little he knew about the running of his castle. He was so unfamiliar with it all that he hadn’t even noticed when an extra man showed up and took up residence in his home without invitation. It was a problem that needed to be addressed, but at that moment, it was the last thing on his mind.
The man huffed and continued walking, disappearing down the hall entirely. Cameron made no move to emerge from the shadows where he stood as his mind raced.
He was no fool. A strange man leaving her chambers at this hour of the night, a man that she had kept hidden from him, could only mean one thing. And he would rather not think about it too hard. He tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, he tried to convince himself that it was a misunderstanding. But he knew there was nothing innocent about what he had just witnessed.
His fist curled into a ball, though his arm still hung loosely at his side. He was not one to be made a fool of. His pride stung from the wound she had dealt him.
Here he was, ready to knock on her door to invite her to spend more time with him. He had naively believed that she had enjoyed their day together as much as he had. He had taken her at her word when she had told him as much. All the while, she left dinner not because he had said the wrong thing or because she wanted to politely get out of his hair. No, she left so that she could rush back to the man she truly wanted to spend her time with.
Even as his frustration grew, he knew he couldn’t confront her. He couldn’t say anything, condemning her for her trickery when he was fooling the entire clan. He was in no place to judge her actions. He was standing in a hallway of a castle he was only pretending to have a claim over. He was pretending to be another person entirely. How could he blame her for entertaining another man? Especially when she had been sent here, away from her home and family, because of his own lies.
He swallowed hard. It was an effort to force his hands and jaw to unclench, but he knew there was nothing he could do about what he had seen.
The harsh reality of their situation was that Cameron was only pretending to be the Laird. He was little more than the bastard son of a cruel man. He had no formal training; he couldn’t even write more than his own name. And she was here only as a means to validate his claim. Any hopes he might have harbored for their marriage to turn into one filled with love and affection dissipated the moment he had seen the man leave her room. He couldn’t blame her for already loving another. It was foolish of him to think that she had no life of her own before coming here. With her beauty and her character, it was naive of him to assume that he was the first man to ever be captivated by her. It was even more naive of him to think that one day spent together meant that he knew her well at all.
His anger melted into resignation the longer he stood there in the shadows.
After a while, he no longer understood why he was still in the hallway. He knew he couldn’t go to her now. Too much time had passed and too much had changed, even if she hadn’t realized it. He wouldn’t be able to pretend that everything was as it was at dinner. That easygoing warmth they had shared would be out of reach now.
Turning, Cameron went back the way he came. He faltered in front of his study, not wanting to go back to the stacks of papers waiting for him on his desk. As it was, he could hardly get through one without needing to look up a word or ask Alastair for help. It was slow, grueling work that he was in no mood to deal with.
Instead, he kept walking, finding himself in the library for the second time that day. He tried to convince himself he was only there to improve his reading skills, as that was the thing holding him back from doing his work now. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was hoping to catch a whiff of Charlotte’s scent from where she had sat earlier that afternoon.
* * *
Charlotte paced back and forth,her footsteps angry as she went in circles around her room. She was so annoyed with Alec showing up the way he had, demanding so much of her attention. As of late, their every interaction ended in an argument. She would say something or do something that he would take offense to. Or someone else around her would do something he perceived as a threat to their relationship and he would take it out on her.
Before, she had been able to brush off his behavior as that of a jealous man. It had made her feel special and wanted in a way that she had never felt with anyone else before. But he had also always limited himself on how far things went. She never felt like he was truly angry with her but rather their impossible circumstances.
That all changed in the last few months.
No longer was Alec cool-headed and calm; a refuge for her to turn to when life in the castle got too overwhelming for her. Gone were the days when his jealousy was like a flash in the pan, there one minute and soothed the next. Now it lingered, infecting their time together like a plague. Their kisses turned from sweet and romantic to demanding and assuming. He no longer respected the lines they both knew they couldn’t cross. And it was getting harder and harder to push him away, to stop him. At least not without risk to herself.
Even before she was sent here to marry Cameron, they had both known that their relationship was doomed from the start. She was the daughter of a Laird and he was nothing more than a stable boy. There was no amount of finagling that would allow them to end up together. At one point, that broke her heart. It was a reality she fought to ignore for the better part of two years. But when the time came for her to leave her father’s castle and travel to her betrothed, she had not been sad at all. The relief that she felt caught her off guard.
At the time, she had been too consumed with worry over Laird Knox to examine her feelings about Alec. And when she discovered that Alec would be going with her, the pool of her emotions became that much more clouded.
On the one hand, being sent to marry Laird Knox had provided her with the perfect reason to end her affair with Alec. After all, how could either of them argue with the fact that she would soon have a husband? It was a situation where the only person to be blamed was her father and she knew Alec wouldn’t dare do that. On the other hand, having him with her had brought her a modicum of comfort that she had needed to brave such an unknown future. With him by her side, she knew that she would always have an out, a way to escape if things with Laird Knox got unlivable.
However, now that she knew Cameron, now that she felt safe here, Alec’s presence was little more than a nuisance. The way he kept barging into her room had her so sure that they were going to get caught. The anxiety from knowing that if anyone saw him leaving her chambers she would be sent back to her father in shame was enough to make her dread seeing him. And after tonight, after his outburst at her dinner with Cameron and his reaction to telling him no, she wasn’t sure that she wanted anything to do with him anymore.
Things could never be that simple. Alec had stormed out like a toddler throwing a tantrum after she refused to allow him to maneuver her to the bed. She could only imagine how poorly he would react if she ever got the courage to end things for good. There would be nothing stopping Alec from spreading rumors of her tainted purity or worse, going to her father directly.
The thought had her pacing so fast she felt like she was spinning in circles. It didn’t take long before her heart was racing to keep up with her thoughts. Any hope she might have had at going to sleep soon vanished. She would be up for hours if she didn’t find some way to calm herself down. Eventually, she would be able to find a way out of the sticky situation she had landed herself in. She only needed time—time and the ability to clear her head.
