Page 30 of Same Rogue
He wore his hat backwards. His gold eyes were sparking with intensity, and something more that she couldn’t understand. His beard was getting thicker already.
He was, hands down, the most handsome man she’d ever laid eyes on. But he was a dead end, and her life had to moveforward. She had to grow. She had to improve. She had to make sound decisions and dig her way out of the hole she’d buried herself in.
Bridger was an anchor, not a shovel.
“I can’t do the hot and cold,” she whispered. “I can’t.”
He inhaled deeply and nodded.
She forced a smile and bumped his shoulder. “I had fun there for a little while, and I’m thankful for parts of this.”
“What parts?” he asked, his voice gritty.
“I know better what I want now.”
“What do you want?” he asked.
Maryanne told them, “Okay, I’m all ready for you to sign.”
Kit offered Bridger a polite smile and stepped around him, took the pen from Maryanne’s hand, and leaned over the tailgate to sign where she was supposed to.
“What do you want?” he asked again, standing beside her as she signed in three places.
“Your turn,” Maryanne said, offering Bridger a pen.
He took Kit’s place in front of the paperwork, but he seemed distracted. “Kit,” he said.
“Please,” she whispered. “Just end it. I don’t want to suffer.”
“What do you want?” he asked in a whisper. There was a desperation in his eyes she didn’t understand.
“I want someone with chemistry like we have, but I want to be the only one he sees. I want someone who will make me better, not drag me into a bad pattern. I’ve done that before. I want steady now. I want to know my place beside a man. I don’t want to compete with someone I know is better than me in every way—”
“Kit—”
“No, Bridger. You had all day yesterday to text me back and talk about whatever you want to talk about. All day and all night. I’ve barely slept since I’ve been in Coeur d’Alene, andit’s because you are putting my head on a rollercoaster I can’t maintain long term. Does that make sense?”
Bridger pursed his lips.
“Look, I came here with clear intentions, and you weren’t the person I thought you were. It’s not your fault. I was manipulated, and you were blindsided, and this was never going to work. I understand that now. But fuck, Bridger, I had fun in moments with you. I truly did. It was this white-hot flash in a pan of emotion when I was with you, but then it was painful when I wasn’t with you. I can’t imagine maintaining that push and pull long term. You will ruin me. You aren’t ready yet.”
“Kit, I’ve been thinking—”
“Bridger, you aren’t ready. You said so yourself. I feel it. My animal feels it. You show me affection and then you hate yourself for it, and it is only a matter of time before you hate me for it too. Amelia has you still, and maybe she always will. And you know what? That’s okay. No one has a right to rush you through mourning a loss like that. She was the one for you. You were the one for her. I want that too. I want to be the one someday for someone too. Not just the leftover option to make you forget your problems for an hour or two at a time. I want to be more. Sign the paperwork and we can both be free.”
He got quiet, searching her eyes for a few seconds before he leaned over the paperwork and signed where he was supposed to sign. The notary signed quickly after that and stamped it, and Kit uploaded each page into the document scanner portion of her notes app on her phone. She sent them to Lauren.
And it was done.
She forced a smile and said goodbye to Maryanne and offered her hand for a shake to Bridger.
He looked at it. His eyes were glowing so brightly right now. Slowly, he grasped her hand and shook it.
“You shook up a lot inside of me,” he rumbled.
“We feisty ones will do that.”
He huffed a laugh and pulled her in, hugged her tightly against his chest. She could feel his heart beating against her cheek.
