Page 39 of Same Rogue
“I went crazy when Amelia died.” He glanced at her and he looked like he wanted to choke on those words. “She died because of me.”
“You killed her?”
He nodded.
“Explain, Bridger,” she pleaded, tears burning her eyes.
“She was human,” he murmured. “Fuck, we were so young. My wolf fell for her from the very first time I saw her. We got married. I did all the human traditions. I asked her dad for her hand. Her parents were like my parents. Holidays and traditionswith them, the works. My wolf was so easy to manage, because she owned him, and she was full of kindness and goodness.”
“Bridger, what happened?”
“I was welding. I was on a night crew. We had just started trying for a baby. My life was perfect.” He swallowed hard and covered his face with his hands. “I can still see her face. One eye was bright green from a wolf that was killing her, and one eye was that pretty blue from when she’d been human. Her body rejected the wolf. I didn’t know. Fuck, I didn’t know.” His voice was full of agony. “I couldn’t tell her parents how it was at the end. They asked. They wanted to know, but I couldn’t ever tell them. I couldn’t put the vision in their heads. I didn’t want them to remember her that way. To remember her the way I have to remember her.” He slid his hands up to his hair and gripped it. His eyes looked wild, and raw, and vulnerable.
“You Turned her?”
“No. God, no. I would’ve never. She found someone who did, but they didn’t know what the fuck they were doing. They maimed her and left her to Turn on her own. She drove all the way to me—” His voice cracked. “Fuck.” He moved his hands to his face again. “She drove all the way to my workplace, just bleeding out because she knew she was dying. She wanted to be with me.” A sob took his shoulders. “I held her on the side of a highway while she died in my arms. The wolf killed her. She would’ve never tried to Turn if it wasn’t for me. It’s my fault. Her parents say it’s not my guilt to carry, but there has to be someone to blame. It’s me.” His voice trembled on the last part of it.
Tears streamed from her eyes to her cheeks as she imagined the horror that had happened to him. The trauma. This man…this wolf…had lost his mate in the most horrific way she could imagine. She’d seen a Turn that had gone wrong before. It was torture to go that way. She flinched at the vision of him cradling his mate’s dying body on the edge of a highway.
“I went crazy after we buried her. I tracked down the guy who had Turned her and I Challenged him. Killed him. It kicked off a bloodlust I had no control over. My wolf had lost his owner. His sense of purpose. His sense of right and wrong. He’d lost the good.” He inhaled a shaking breath. “I left here and I went from Pack to Pack. I did anything they needed. I was a weapon for hire. The bloodlust grew bigger and I didn’t care. I didn’t feel anything for three years. The Elders got ahold of me on year two and aimed me at any enemy they had. And I was happy to do it.”
“Oh my God,” she whispered as she realized what he was saying. Amelia died ten years ago. Bridger had settled out of his reign of battle seven years ago. She knew who he was.
“You’re the Mad Wolf,” she whispered.
“You know, someone was supposed to kill me.” He slid an emotion-filled look to her. “Someone was supposed to be bigger. With every Challenge, I was ready. I waited. I wanted to be done. I wanted to be gone. I wanted to be with Amelia, but no one ever ended me.”
“Why did you come back here?”
“Gina and Matt asked me to come home.”
“Amelia’s parents?”
He nodded. “I owed them. Whatever they wanted, I would’ve done it. Whatever they want now, I’ll do it.”
And she understood so much more about him now. Why he had taken his time with mourning. Why he still cared for her family. Why he was so afraid to fall for a woman again. Why it had taken ten years for him to kiss another.
She would’ve wanted to die too.
Kit couldn’t stop the tears. She reached over and gripped his hand tightly.
“I’ve killed.”
“I’ve heard stories of the Mad Wolf. I know.”
“I’ve killed,” he said again, leveling her with a golden-eyed look.
“I know,” she whispered. “If you’re waiting for me to judge you, I won’t.”
A slight frown took his eyebrows. “Kit,” he said softly.
“Bridger, it’s not up to me to forgive you. I’m a werewolf. I’m not human. You’ll have to look for a woman to punish you for your sins somewhere else, if that’s what you need. I’m a werewolf. I understand when the wolf goes for the bloodlust. Did you Challenge according to our laws?”
He nodded once.
“Did you attack anyone from behind?”
“Never.”
