Page 168 of This Bitter Sweet Temptation
I wish I could be as lighthearted about it as she is.
For her, it’s fantasy, all right. She’s living vicariously.
Holden was just idle daydreams, never anything serious, and long before she met Kane andgother happily ever after with an older single dad, no less.
We might be cousins, but there’s a massive difference between her situation and mine.
“It’s not gonna work; it’s just fun,” I rush out. “I mean, the age gap, it’s way bigger than yours. We want different things once we get this mess settled. It’s impossible.”
“Oh, you’re in the fun part and you don’t even realize it.”
“The sex?”
“The figuring it out! And okay, the sexy times too. You’re adorable when you blush, by the way.”
I glower.
I’m so not the type of girl who blushes all the time, but I guess admitting to fucking the family bodyguard will do that.
“It’s only the rest of your life. Take your time.” She taps her nails against the table. “I mean, look at me. I never thought in a million years I’d wind up with a grumpy man with a past. He hastwins.”
“Okay, fair.” I wince. “One kid seems hard enough.”
“But we made it work, didn’t we? And the kids areawesome. Dan and Sophie make my whole day. Just like you guys, we fought it until we couldn’t, and then we had to merge our worlds. We figured it out, and it was the best thing to ever happen to me.”
I stare at her across the table, studying the way she shines.
She’s sickeningly in love. Not just with Kane Saint, but with her new life.
For a hot second, my jealousy muscle twitches, and I can almost taste the same glory with Holden.
Curled up on the sofa with him and Kit, watching movies in the evenings.
Doing art with Kit while Holden cooks up something scrumptious, then helping him clean up while the kidlet hits the books.
A family life.
A home that’s more than playing house.
A stable, loving nest I never had growing up.
Every day, a new challenge and a fresh surprise.
If he’d stop being dumb, we could take life by the horns together. We could start and end it in each other’s arms. Theway we were doing just two days ago, when everything seemed so perfect.
But then my dreams disintegrate.
Holden made it clear he’s not interested in juvenile fantasies. He’s more grounded than I am, and it sucks.
I hate his realism because I can’t prove it’s wrong.
Oh, yes, that rosy glow would last through the honeymoon. And after it ends, the fights would start. Little holes in our lives that stretch into gaping wounds that can’t be patched over.
Little spats at first.
My dreams clashing with his.
Futures pulling apart like broken bones.
