Page 167 of This Bitter Sweet Temptation
Why even try to deny it?
I drop my head into my hands, hiding the blush that’s spreading up my neck.
“This isn’t like me. I swear.”
“Oh, I know. You don’t do random hookups or go after older guys. What happened?”
“I don’t know. I used to hate him when I was a kid. When we reconnected over the will, I thought he was awful. Didn’t think he had a life beyond work. But once I got to know him…”
“Things got sexy?”
I straighten up and glare. “I realized he was actually a decent guy.”
“Oh, well, yeah. That too.” She takes one last drink and puts the glass down beside my hand. “You’ve been through this before, right? Serious dating?”
…that’s not what this is.
But obviously, I’ve dated.
With Finley, I got pretty serious for a few months, until I found out he was throwing around my pics for his eyes only like trading cards.
After that, I knew casual was it until I could find a guy more grown up. A man who wouldn’t be such an immature emotional troll.
When Holden and I started ourfling, serious wasn’t on the radar.
But before I could blink, before I could breathe, we’re in this grey place, uncomfortable and awkward and messy. There’s this longing in the pit of my stomach that won’t go cold.
“He scares me,” I admit, my voice weak. “He makes me scare myself. I want to be with him even when we’re not just stressing over egg thieves and museums. I like waking up with him. I love the way he humors me. I miss the way he makes me smile. And I… I want to paint him.”
“Oh, shit. It’s worse than I thought.” She sighs. “You’re in love.”
Total uppercut.
Holy crap, no. I’m not in love.
Ican’tbe in love with Holden Verity.
Maybe I’ve let this go too far and caught a nasty case of wishes, but that’s as far as it goes.
Love, that’s a whole different ballgame. A different freaking arena.
Different rules and bigger disasters.
A thousand different ways to die from heartbreak.
“I knew this would happen, too,” Margot says while I stew. “Proof you’re a Blackthorn girl, after all.”
“Blackthorn or not, I’m practical,” I hiss.
“Screw practical, that’s boring. Does he make you happy every time you wake up the next morning? Because if he does, it’s not just sex.”
My mouth twists open helplessly, but there’s no way I can deny it. And I don’t want to because he’s a god between the sheets.
“Yes,” I say. “It’s… it’s good. Really good.”
“Iknewit.” She laughs loudly, clasping her hands together and throwing me this doe-eyed look. “You’re so lucky. This is every teenage fantasy come true.”
She laughs again.
