Page 147 of A Diamond Deal
But even as he hardened in that resolve, he was rejecting it. Letting Amelia go like this was untenable. He wouldn’t do it.
He kept his voice measured, even when his insides were rioting, dragging him from one side to the other, in a constant state of flux over what he wanted, and what made sense. ‘Where are you going?’
‘I’m sorry about the photoshoot, but I can’t stay here,’ she said, without looking at him.
‘I’ve rescheduled it.’
She nodded once, kept walking.
His gut fell out of his body. He couldn’t let her leave. It was as simple as that. Not without at least asking her to stay, first.
‘Amelia.’ Desperation meant he spoke her name more curtly than he’d intended, but she stopped walking and finally glanced somewhere in the vicinity of his direction. ‘Where are you going?’
‘You’re the one who reminded me I have money now. I can book a hotel.’ His insides twisted. All his life, he’d protected himself from this, but in this moment, when he needed to wrap those barriers around himself harder, tighter, he mentally rejected them outright. ‘I don’t need to stay here and be spoken to like that.’
‘Amelia—’
‘No.’ Now she looked at him, and the loathing and pain in her eyes sliced him in half. ‘You bought me. I’m your wife. But you have no right to yell at me, to speak to me as though I’m some cheap, sex-obsessed woman who can’t wait to move on to her next conquest. You have no right to treat my friend as you did this afternoon. If you think I’m going to stick around and wait for you to say something else like that, then think again. I will not be treated—’
‘You’re right,’ he said, knowing immediately that he had gone so far over the line of acceptability, she was doing the only thing she could.
He put his drink down quickly and crossed to her, hating the way she seemed to pull back from him even before he reached her.
‘My behaviour was disgusting. I had no right to say those things, to act that way. I’m truly sorry.’
She shook her head, lips compressed.
If he was going to fix this, he had to be completely honest. ‘I was jealous.’
Her eyes lifted to his but slipped away again, just as quickly. ‘I’m not completely stupid. I guessed as much. But sleeping together once doesn’t give you a right to dictate who I can spend time with. We’re intending to be married for two years; are you saying I can’t have friends over?’
Male friends, when he wasn’t home? That was most definitely his preference, but he recognised the absolute unfairness of that. Particularly when he’d predicated the whole marriage agreement on their freedom to continue discreetly pursuing relationships outside their situation.
The idea of that was anathema to him now.
Why would he want another woman in his bed, when he could have Amelia?
Except that was far from certain, right now.
‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated, hands on hips. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever been jealous before. Evidently, I don’t know how to handle it.’
She wrapped her arms around her chest, looking so frail that a part of him broke apart.
‘I don’t think I can do this,’ he said as realisation unfurled in his gut. He felt the danger of what he was about to suggest, the perilous situation he was preparing to step into. But he genuinely couldn’t see an alternative, besides letting her leave, andthathe had already discounted.
‘Do what?’ she whispered, so softly he barely heard.
‘I don’t want to think of you seeing other men.’
She shook her head, consternation in her expression. ‘I never had any intention of cheating on you.’
His gaze narrowed.
‘I know this is just a fake marriage, but I’m not someone who can pretend those vows don’t matter.’
He ignored the flare of triumph and assurance her words brought, because it was a house of cards. Her declaration should have been reassuring, yet he felt the earth wobble beneath him. Because it wasn’t based on her wanting to be married to him, wanting to be faithful to him. It was the cage he’d built for her, without intending to.
‘We have two options,’ he said, slowly, realising that there was another door he hadn’t considered. One he hated the thought of going through, even while he knew he had to hold it open for her.
