Page 136 of Give Me What You Can't
“Sure…?”
“It’s Christmas, Samuels. You know, the time of year for forgiveness…”
Samuels’s hand fisted his backpack. “It’s not like that. I already know he’s forgiven me.”
Curious, John’s eyebrows furrowed. “So, what’s the problem?”
“I haven’t forgiven myself.”
John felt the stab in his gut, recognizing that pain. No wonder he liked Samuels so much—they were very similar. “Why not? You were vulnerable—grieving…”
Samuels shook his head, “No, I don’t regret the kiss. I regret that it took me that long to finally do it.”
A deep sadness passed over Samuels’s face, his lips tightening before releasing an almost strained breath. “Let go or be dragged. I spent fifteen years hanging on to someone who could never love me back, and it’s not his fault. It was self-imposed. Very likely due to my lack of self-worth, with a heavy sprinkling of childhood trauma and mommy issues.”
John nearly laughed at how casually he said it, but resisted.
Samuels scrubbed a hand over his mustache. “I will always love him, and I know he will always love me. The difference is…howwe love each other.”
John’s chest tightened, and he nodded. He couldn’t imagine being in love with Wyatt and him not loving him back. He empathized, feeling incredibly helpless for his friend. He wished he could do more.
“Thanks,” Samuels said, surprising him.
“For the interrogation?” John asked.
“Yeah, actually. Felt good to talk about it.”
“My therapist is teaching me the importance of talking about hard stuff,” he said lightly. “I can send you his number if you’d like?”
Samuels’s throat bobbed and he nodded, “Yeah, okay.”
“Good.” John straightened, slipping his hands into the front of his sweater pockets. “See ya later tonight, Dr. Samuels.”
“Yeah, text me if you guys need anything else besides flowers and whiskey.”
“Will do.”
John zipped up his hoodie and headed out the front lobby, busy as always, but the staff had decorated it with Christmas lights and hung white paper snowflakes made by the patients in the pediatric ward. The cold night air was refreshingly cool in his lungs as he headed toward the employee parking lot, excited to make it home and celebrate his first Christmas with Wyatt and his family.
He heard the revving of an engine and glanced up in surprise.
Wyatt, dressed in his sexy all-black cowboy getup, was straddling his bike and waiting for him.
His pulse stuttered and he hummed in approval. Wyatt slipped off his helmet, heat dancing in his bright blue eyes. “Wanna ride?”
Fuck. Yes.
“I certainly do, cowboy.”
Wyatt smiled, handing him his spare helmet.
“You gonna dress like that to my parents' house?” John asked, raking his gaze over his body.
“No, I wore this hoping I’d get lucky before we went.”
He bit his lower lip, excitement pooling in his belly. “Oh, so this is a seduction tactic?”
“Fuck, I love the doctor tone.”
“Well, Dr. Lawson, I’m sure I could accommodate your needs tonight. But if we show up late to my parents’ house, I will be very displeased.”
Wyatt grinned mischievously, “We wouldn’t want that, would we, Dr. Donnelly?”
Damn, this is already turning out to be the best Christmas ever.
All because of this very sexy, very generous cowboy of mine.
The end
