Page 46 of The Man Next Door
He came back with a thick pair of wool socks. “Here, put these on. They’ll keep you cozy.”
I smiled and grabbed the socks. I quickly slipped them on, picked up my cup of hot chocolate, and settled back on the sofa. “Heaven.”
His smile was impish. “Yes… definitely.”
“Thank you…” I told him quietly, lost in his beautiful brown eyes. “Thank you for all this… the cake, the gift. You have no idea what it means to me.”
His eyes fixed mine for a long beat before he finally said, “Making you happy makes me happy.”
Such simple words, but they were the most beautiful words I’d ever heard.
I leaned forward and set my mug on the coffee table. I turned to Gavin whose eyes were all over me, anticipating what I would do next. I think he knew, but couldn’t believe it. I inched slowly closer. He didn’t move, just stayed still like a deer caught in headlights. He was under my spell. I splayed my hand on his chest, against the thick fabric of his sweater. He exhaled, and I moved closer still, testing the waters. He was stiff, restrained. “Abigail…” he whispered.
“Gavin…”
I pressed myself against him, and slid my mouth against his beard, wanting to know what it would feel like. Both prickly and soft. And intoxicating.
“Abigail…” he breathed. The rise and fall of his chest and his labored breathing told me everything I needed to know. He wanted this as much as I did. When my lips finally reached his, he was hesitant. He did not invite me in. I closed my eyes, and pulled away—
That’s when he grabbed my face and stole the breath from my lungs. He took me with more force, more passion than I could have ever imagined. His mouth parted against mine, vulnerable. My tongue explored his and my body was suddenly on fire, aroused, wanting more. The feeling was completely foreign to me, yet it was delicious and exhilarating. I’d kissed a boy or two before, but it was nothing like this. It had been awkward, all sloppy tongues. But this, this was something else.
I wrapped myself tightly around him, my mouth greedy, desperate, my hands tangled in his thick hair.
“Abigail…” he breathed heavily. “We can’t…” He pleaded me to stop, but I was completely lost to him, out of control. The more he pushed me away, the more I tempted him, a hand under his sweater, the other tangled in his hair.
That’s when he pushed me off him. A little too hard. Just like that. I fell to the floor, just missing the corner of the coffee table. Magnum’s ears were standing to attention.
Gavin dropped to his knees next to me. “I’m so sorry, Abigail. Are you okay?”
I was shaken and heartbroken, but otherwise fine. “I’m okay.”
“You need to go,” he said and I knew from his tone that he meant business. I scraped myself off the floor.
“I should have never kissed you.” He turned from me, rubbing furiously at his face. “You’re fifteen years old, for fuck sake’s. You shouldn’t even be here at all.”
I stood, shaking, my legs wobbly. Perhaps it was the adrenaline, or the intense heartbreak. To this day, I’ve never experienced those shakes again.
“I’m the one who kissed you,” I pointed out.
He whipped around. “That doesn’t make a goddamn difference, Abigail. I let you kiss me, and that makes me a fucking pig.”
I shook my head. “But… I wanted it. I wanted you,” I tried to explain.
He drew a long breath, at a complete loss for words. “You need to go.”
“It’s okay because I love you,” I said, my words a whisper. I’d never told anyone I loved them before, save for my parents when I was a kid.
Gavin winced, and he didn’t say the words back, which absolutely wrecked me. I wanted to hear those words.I love you too, Abigail.
“You need to go, kid,” he said instead, and I understood that I needed to listen, that this was a lost cause, that he’d probably never let me in his trailer ever again.
I trudged back slowly to the back door and shrugged into my winter jacket. He couldn’t even look at me, he stared at the floor the whole time. Magnum looked at me with sad eyes, almost as if he knew how heartbroken I was. I bet he did. I slipped into my cold wet boots and gloves and grabbed my snow pants. I didn’t say goodbye. I just opened the door behind me and stepped out quietly.
I couldn’t look at him either.
As I headed back home, I carefully watched my surroundings, making sure there were no witnesses. It had become habit by then. My heart was heavy, aching with the thought that we might not be friends anymore.
I had gotten my wish.A kiss from Gavin.
But at what cost?
