Page 79 of One Week in Paris
28
Betrayal
Familial betrayal is, to me, the most heartbreaking kind — because if you can’t trust your family to love you and protect you, who can you really trust?— Alexandra Bracken
Betrayal is one of the hardest emotion you can experience in a relationship, be it romantic or not. Often, a relationship can’t survive betrayal. Betrayal is more than a lie or deceit. Betrayal is broken trust. The betrayed struggle with their emotions, might miss the one who betrayed them, might reminisce about the good times, but forgiveness is hard to come by when one is betrayed. Unfortunately, the betrayed is often as miserable as the rejected.
The most common type of betrayal is probably infidelity, but betrayal comes in all shapes and sizes. It can also occur when someone you trust betrays your confidence, does something offensive behind your back, lies to you and makes you believe you can trust them.
The emotions involved in being betrayed run the gamut between shock, grief, doubt, the sensation of being violated, the fear of being harmed by those around us, and at its extreme, even obsession. Obsession to seek revenge on those who have betrayed us, the intense desire to make them pay.
Betrayal leads to cynicism, to the inability to trust. It makes us wary. Betrayal is catching. One who is betrayed will become cynical, and eventually betray someone else.
My poor mother was not only betrayed by her fiancé tonight. She was also betrayed by her daughter. I’ve gone behind her back, and manipulated circumstances in order to throw her smack in the middle of Mark’s deception. I was a key player in her heartbreak. It doesn’t matter that I did it with the best of intentions, that I did it because I love her. I’m still guilty.
And here I am, by her side, consoling her. I feel like such a traitor. But she needs me right now, more than ever, like I needed her all those years when my heart was broken.
I will tell her the truth someday soon, but not right now. It just isn’t the right time. I’ll confess when I feel it’s the right time to do so.
Until then, I’ll remain by her side. Like a good daughter should.
* * *
Shakespeare& Company was on the list of local sights we didn’t want to miss. The iconic bookstore is a spot where one can buy English books, and was high on Mom’s list — she knows everything about it.
As soon as we get there, I’m enthralled. The place is quaint; a charming green façade, bins of old books, the smell of which permeates the air, even outside. A colorful myriad of books, both new and old, line the walls. Old wooden beams run along the rustic ceiling. There’s a tabby cat in a wicker chair in a corner, and a friendly lady with cat-eye glasses greets us.
Mom is like a kid at a candy store — she loves reading, and anything old and vintage, so she’s completely in her element here.
As we start perusing the books, opening spines carefully, breathing in that old musty book smell, Mom tells me all about the place. “Did you know that this place was originally in the sixth arrondissement when it first opened? Hemingway used to come here all the time. So did F. Scott Fitzgerald and a bunch of other famous authors.”
“All those people inMidnight in Paris,” I add.
She lights up, flipping through the pages of a pink Anita Shreve novel. “Oh, I loved that movie.”
“It was reopened here in 1951,” she tells me. “You know who loves this place?” she asks with a glint in her eye. “Antoine.”
An idea hits me. “Why don’t you text him. See if he can meet us here.”
She shakes her head. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t possibly…”
“Just tell him that you’re here, that’s all.”
She grins like a giddy junior high girl with a crush. “Oh, why the hell not.”
I rudely spy over her shoulder as she writes him a quick text.
Guess where I am? Shakespeare & Company!
We keep wandering around as we both anxiously wait for his reply.
“I still can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe the wedding was called off at the last minute,” she says, her nose buried in a book. “What a mess.”
“At least you didn’t get jilted at the altar like my friend, Maeve.”
She blows a long breath. “Thank goodness. I don’t think I could handle that kind of humiliation. How is your friend, by the way?”
“She’s great! Remember, I told you all about it? She’s engaged actually… found her true love.”
