Page 48 of One Week Hating You
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WE GO FOR A NICE LONG HIKE in the afternoon. We’re all very quiet. The kids explore; insects, weird sticks and rocks, and they’re on the hunt for wildlife. We spot a few squirrels and birds, but nothing more exciting. We hear what sounds like an owl, but Maddie insists that it can’t be since owls sleep during the day.
I like hiking because it gives me time to reflect. Away from the stimuli of my regular life, sheltered by the tall trees, surrounded by nothing but nature. On this particular hike, my mind is full of Blake and our conversation. I’ve misjudged him all these years. All this time, I thought that he dumped me because I was square, but I should have known there was more to it. We’d known each other forever. He would have never broken up with me for such a superficial reason.
When we get back to camp, I’m unsettled by the realization that for the past few hours, my mind was filled with thoughts of one man. And it wasn’t Peter Walker.
“These are amazing,”I tell Blake. We’re eating salmon and shrimp grilled skewers, and a white sauce pasta. “When did you learn to cook like this?”
He grins. “Well, I’m a pro at the grill, but I wouldn’t exactly call myself a chef. The skewers were bought pre-made.”
“Still good,” I mumble between bites – I’m starved.
The kids seem pretty hungry too… they’re munching away quietly, a telltale sign.
Blake reaches for his tall glass of water. “So what’s the deal with Parker? Do you ever plan on replying to his messages?”
I smile. I like that Blake cares. I want him to give a damn. Maybe there’s a small part of me who regrets letting him go all those years ago. We could have been married with a few munchkins by now. The thought of that almost makes me laugh.
“I’m going to make him sweat a little longer.”
A huge smile stretches across his face. “Good for you… the jerk deserves it.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not sure what the future holds for us, but for now, I’m still angry. It’s only been about two weeks.”
Blake’s face falls. “You really see yourself with him again? Even after what he did to you?”
I twirl my fork into my pasta. “Everyone deserves a second chance,” I tell him. “Seven years together is not nothing. You can’t just throw away a relationship like that. He just wasn’t ready for marriage, that’s all.”
Blake lets out a long breath and stares down at his plate. He pokes at his pasta, rather furiously, and doesn’t utter another word.
Neither do I. Subject closed.
* * *
Look deep into nature,and then you will understand everything better. -Albert Einstein
Dear Journal,
I’d forgotten how much I love camping. I initially thought that being stuck in a small enclosed space with Blake for two days would prove a little stressful, but it’s actually been kind of nice.
It’s taken me back, to ages ago, when we used to all go camping together; the Gallaghers and the Taylors. Our families were inseparable back then. Our dads would go fishing and birdwatching, and our moms would BBQ and gossip. Tim could always be found with his nose buried in a book, or playing with his cars in the dirt. Marilyn, Brian, Blake, Mandy and I would often ride our bikes to the lake, and we’d spend hours there. When we weren’t swimming, we’d be playing board games, or inventing our own games. One summer, we even attempted to build a tree house. I say ‘attempted’ because it ended up crashing down and almost killing Mandy. At night, we’d all gather around the fire, roast marshmallows, and Blake’s dad would tell ghost stories.
This was just what I needed. Who needs a therapist when you have nature? There’s nothing like the cool crisp air, the sound of birds, the sight of an adorable chipmunk, or the stars at night. I love to walk under the shade of trees and study them closely; the leaves, the texture of the bark, the shape of their limbs, the roots at their bottoms, tangled in the ground, covered in moss. When we were kids, Tim and I used to be obsessed with trees. Back then, I could spot a tree and tell you exactly what kind it was. Now I’ve unfortunately forgotten everything, but for some reason, Tim still remembers. I love the sensation of walking under their canopy and feeling coddled, protected from the stresses of everyday life. When surrounded by nature, it feels like your life is on hold. It’s like you’ve hit the pause button.
Blake has been kind of great, as much as it pains me to admit. He’s awesome with the kids and he’s a master at everything; fire building, cooking, fishing… he’s even great at telling ghost stories. Thank goodness for that because I’m pretty useless. I usually end up ripping off some horror flick I’ve watched recently. When I tried to pass off the story ofThe Conjuringas my own, Maddie was totally on to me.
Speaking of the kids, it’s been great to spend some time with them. I don’t see them enough, and it fills me with guilt. I’m only two hours away but life is so crazy sometimes. If you don’t make something a priority, it falls by the wayside. Although I’m not completely at fault – Peter had a lot to do with it. He’s never been a big fan of Westbrooke – he’s a city boy, all the way. I never felt completely comfortable bringing him home. Unfortunately, he and my family have never really hit it off. And I was always trying to please him, so as the years passed, I saw my family less and less.
Now it’s time to make my family a priority.
Later, Journal.
M
* * *
The drive homeis very quiet – we’re all pretty worn out. The kids are happy to be on their devices again, and Blake is content to stare at the road ahead. Meanwhile, I’m confused with jumbled thoughts. Do I really want to go back to Peter? To my life? Or do I want to stay here a little longer with my family? I haven’t even had a chance to see my brother yet.
