Page 96 of One Week
Kayla knocks on the door, just two quick taps. “Are you okay, Gabs?”
My voice cracks when I tell her I’m okay.
“You don’t sound okay.”
I stand up slowly, and reach for the door. I open it, and as soon as she sees me, she hugs me tightly.
“It was negative,” I say. “I’m not pregnant.”
She pulls out of my hold, and eyes me with a confused expression. “But that’s good, isn’t it? It’s what you wanted, right?!”
“It’s what I should want,” I say, “but it’s not what I wanted.”
She takes my hand and leads me to the sofa. I reach for my tea but it’s cold. I set it back on the table.
“You’re not thinking clearly, Gabbie,” she says, her tone soft, not scolding. “This is for the best,” she goes on. “Think about it… you’re married with two great kids. I know John hasn’t been perfect but he’s a good dad and good husband. It was one mistake, and he owned up to it.”
I don’t say a word. I let her talk some sense into me – it’s the reason I came here, after all. I need someone to talk some sense into me.
“Eli sounds like a great guy, but he’s not real. He’s not part of your reality, Gabbie. He’s a starving artist who lives in Copenhagen. Sure he’s hot as hell, has the most adorable dog, and can cook like a gourmet chef, but c’mon… he’s not real.”
Then why does he feel more real than John?
I try not to remember his touch, his smile, the way he made me laugh. What we shared was real. It felt so true.
“Maybe the test was wrong,” I say with sudden hope.
Kayla’s gaze falls to the table. “Those tests are pretty accurate, Gabbie.”
“But I’mneverlate,” I argue.
“You were probably stressed this month,” she points out. “Stress can affect your menstrual cycle. And you have to admit that April was quite the month for you. Even travel can throw off your cycle, and your body. It’s why I always take probiotics. It helps when I travel, keeps things moving smoothly.”
“You’re probably right,” I say before she sets off on one of her lectures about the benefits of organic food, natural supplements and vitamins.
She bounces off the sofa. “Here, I’ll make you another tea… Raspberry Leaf Ginseng,” she says. “It’s good for stress, and also PMS, and apparently it can get things going if your period is sluggish.”
I smile. “How do you know these things?”
She grins. “It’s what I do.” She fancies herself a natural health practitioner. I honestly don’t know what that means, or if she has any clients, but her natural and healthy glow makes me want to follow in her footsteps.
The tea is actually delicious, and I drain my cup while we talk about Eli. Kayla is convinced that Eli was a midlife crisis of sorts, an adventure, and my way of leveling the playing field in my marriage.
She’s not entirely wrong.
But her words sting a little. Eli means so much more than that to me. He wasn’t just an escape. He wasn’t a revenge plan.
My brain is buzzing as I drive home. Why was I so upset about the pregnancy test? Why did I want this baby so badly? Did I just want to hold on to a part of Eli? Did I want to see his eyes reflected in my child? Did I really want his baby? Or did I just want an excuse to end my marriage. Did I just want a fresh start?
Chapter Forty-Two
MY PERIOD FINALLY COMES the next day — three days late. I spend the day watching reality TV and eating ice cream. John cocks a brow when he walks past once or twice. I don’t care what he thinks — yes, I’ve given up on life.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine,” I tell him. “I have cramps, and I’m having a lazy day. Is that against the law?”
He’s just had his workout, and is sipping one of his green kale smoothies — he’s so perfect and together, it makes me sick. “I can’t believe you watch that trash,” he says.
