Page 16 of One Week

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Well, she’s a pretty good photographer. It’s a nice photo of you.


Yeah, she was always taking pictures. She’s a photographer.

Oh damn, if this is all part of the catfishing, this guy isgood.

What happened? Why did you break up?

I’m being very nosy, but I don’t care. If he’s playing me, he’ll have to think fast on his feet.

His reply is slow to come. He’s having a hard time making up shit, perhaps. Finally...

It just didn’t work out. She was getting too serious. She wanted more from me than I could give,he writes.And she never really liked my dog... deal breaker.

Interesting…

So he’s the noncommittal type, and has a dog. Damn, I’m pretty good at this Nancy Drew stuff.

What kind of dog do you have?


A Golden Retriever. His name is Floyd. I love Pink Floyd.


Very cool.

He doesn’t reply. I figure it’s the end of the conversation — he’s probably heading to bed. In an alternate universe, one where I’m single, childless, and living in Copenhagen, it still would never work between us because I’m more of a cat person. I don’t think Elsie would like Floyd.

I smile as I slice my sandwich in two. I’m being ‘very silly’ as Theo would say, and I’m fully aware of it.

Another ding.

I’m on that phone like blue on sky.

Holy mother of Mary…

Another photo.

It’s a photo of him and his dog. The last photo was nothing compared to this one. The man is gorgeous. The word ‘gorgeous’ does not even do him justice. He has striking eyes – they’re blue-green, and framed by perfect dark brows. And he has great hair too; light brown, wavy, and in need of a haircut.

This guyhasto be a fake… he looks like a freakin’ model. I shake my head, and do a little more investigating. He has no clue who he’s dealing with.

As I type, I imagine a sloppy morbidly obese man in sweatpants. He’s eating a slice of pizza, and there’s a greasy cheese stain on his grey t-shirt. It sits right on top of his enormous stomach. He has long greasy hair, and is balding on top. He smiles wickedly as he taps away at his phone. Ewwww.

Let me guess… another photo taken by your ex-girlfriend?


Yeah… I have loads of them. She was quite the shutterbug.

I bet she was.

Well, thank you so much for the photo. I need to go now to eat dinner. Bye.