Page 78 of Tommy
He grunts and shudders before kissing me once more. His mouth still hungers for my lips as his hips slow and eventually stop moving.
He pulls back but brings me up as well, finally taking the time to remove my clothes from my arms. But nothing else.
His dick is still inside me from this angle and our closeness, but it soon falls away when he lifts me and carries me to his room, ignoring the broken bowl on the floor and our clothes scattered everywhere. Even ignoring the buzzing of his phone, again.
He sets me on the bed and pulls the condom off, tying it off before tossing it into the trash can by the nightstand.
A nightstand with a drawer still open. He reaches in and pulls out three more condoms, throwing them onto the bed.
I eye them, then him.
His smirk says more than his words ever could.
“You didn’t think I was done with you just yet, did you?”
I had no clue I could be into doing all that again so quickly, but the second he leans down and kisses me, all my fears and worries slip away, and I just sink into Tommy’s bed with his arms wrapped around me. Not caring about anything and everything and just enjoying what I have.
For as long as I have it.
Chapter 29—Tommy
Ishould not be this turned on. I really shouldn’t. I’m teaching gun safety, for fuck’s sake. My version, anyway—feeling up my girl while I show her that a gun isn’t something to fear. And I’m not doing myself any favors right now with all this “teaching.” I know she can feel it. Mostly because I won’t step more than a foot away from her, making sure she’s secure enough to hold the small-caliber gun I gave her a second ago.
After last night, she became mine. But she’s more than a possession. She’s becoming everything. Which puts a target on her back. She needs to be able to protect herself in case I’m ever not there.
I didn’t tell her where we were going when we left. She didn’t even question when I gave her clothes to wear, all in her size and made for comfort. I wanted to keep her dressed in my stuff, but where we were going, she needed tighter clothing that covered her legs, so leggings and a fitted shirt were it. A last-minute purchase, along with breakfast this morning. I could have made us something, but I really had no desire to leave her for any length of time in my bed alone. Plus, you’ve got to love the age we live in. You can do all sorts of shopping and never leave your house. And for ten more dollars, you can get shit delivered in an hour.
When she grabbed my sweater to put it over her shirt, I fought my desire to close the gap between us and drag her into a kiss that would no doubt leave her with a clearunderstanding of how I feel about her. How I want to claim her. Not only mind, body, and soul, but every single part of her.
Who am I kidding? Of course I kissed her. I kissed the ever-loving shit out of her. Would have said “fuck it” and returned to the bedroom if it weren’t for the notification I got on my phone that Vinny was giving me the green light to find out what happened to her family.
And I will.
Last night, Payton gave herself to me. And with it, she gave me something I wasn’t expecting—a reason to believe I might be more than a fuckup with a stupid past. As she slept in my arms after our multiple rounds of lovemaking, I realized I have to be happy with everything in my life. To accept every part. Because without my past, I wouldn’t be here.Shewouldn’t be here.
Maybe Vinny would have made me the face of the company. Maybe I would have met her. Butmaybeshe could have been shot along with her parents or fucked up by Carl and lost the very essence that I hold dear. Any small moment could have altered this life, but none of it did. In fact, it’s all the fucked-up shit I did in my past that led me to her. My salvation.
“Just breathe. You’re doing fine.”
“I… I can’t do this.” She shakes her head as she tries to lower her hands, but I push her arms back up, then move closer so she can feel every part of me at her back. I try to ignore that her ass is so close to my junk.
Okay, I don’t. Not that much. I might even move closer so there’s no mistaking what she does to me.
“Hold it steady.”
I keep my hand over hers, holding it out like I showed her a minute ago but not taking the weight of the gun.
“Good. Feel the weight. Feel the steel between your fingers. It’s just metal. Nothing more.”
She shakes her head as a tear falls from her eye in protest.
“Yes, it is.” I kiss her neck, and she flinches. “Just feel it. Don’t fear the metal. You don’t have to like it, but you shouldn’t fear it.”
I bet anyone else, including my brothers, would have a better idea for how to handle this. Maybe ease Payton into getting over her gun fear by watching a show or showing her the history of the weapon, like Bobby would have tried. Danny would tell her the statistics of how guns protect more than hurt, and maybe he would have started by only showing her what he had to, to ease her into seeing them. I prefer the approach I know Vinny would have taken—full immersion. It’s how he became the leader of the family in some ways and is something he continues to live by today.
I chose the family gun range, knowing no one would be here. It’s too far away from their offices, and none of my brothers take a day off to enjoy the property Grandad bought so many years ago. It has a small cabin beside a lake. We can use it for any outdoor recreation, but it’s mostly just a place to shoot shit when you’re pissed at the world and don’t want anyone to witness your breakdown.
I’ve been out here a few times over the last several months when I couldn’t get my head out of my ass and was caught up in thinking about the past. Not so much since Payton came into my life, though.
