Page 74 of Scrubbing In
This has beenthe worst twenty minutes I have ever had to endure.
Someone from Human Resources being present should have been the first thing that startled me when I entered the office. But no, it was seeing Julian seated at the small table in the corner that was painful because he looked as haggard as I feel.
Then, to have to listen to him explain why he requested the meeting made me absolutely nauseous. It is so much more difficult to remain professional than I’d anticipated.
Disgust and outrage at what happened this weekend warred with guilt. Had I not been preoccupied and withdrawn, this kind and beautiful man would have confided in me immediately.I’ve never been closer to bursting into tears than when he flatly described the harassment he experienced Sunday, all while avoiding eye contact with me.
His shoulders were tight and high, and with each twitching movement of his hands, I couldn’t help but wonder how he was able to remain so stoic. I desperately wished I could throw my arms around him, giving him the strength he always gives me. Blinking rapidly, I cut my gaze to the blank notepad in front of me, my brain unable to send a message to my fingers to take notes.
When the HR associate assured Julian this matter would be taken seriously and handled promptly, I had to physically lock my muscles to keep from following as he exited the conference room. Hating the fact it was necessary I stay as HR combed through Devin’s employee file.
South Carolina is an at-will state, but the hospital policy dictates we follow certain steps. With feet bouncing under the table, we review the remediation strategy that had been implemented and the documented failure to meet the requirements set forth. The HR associate applauded our due diligence to remedy her work performance, saying along with Julian’s formal grievance, there were sufficient reasons to terminate Devin.
I’m pretty sure I stumbled from the room, thankful Ivy and Mary, along with HR, would handle the next steps. Hurrying down the hall and slipping into the nearest bathroom, my body falls against the door as I fumble to turn the lock. My chest is heaving as I try to contain the flurry of emotions whipping through me.
A short while later, with my shoulders pulled back, I go in search of Chelsea. Knowing there is absolutely no way I can be anywhere within her vicinity, not without confronting her or worse, I request the afternoon clinical supervisor escort Devinto the conference room where she will be terminated effective immediately.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
Julian
After the meeting,I stuck around the hospital. I’d wanted to check in with Reid and our PA on yesterday’s tibia patient. I was also hoping to see Leena again, and see if we could talk.
Her tired and puffy eyes only made me feel worse about everything. I betrayed her trust and hurt her with my actions, and I could tell that sharing my experience with Devin deeply hurt her by not telling her sooner and bombarding her with it in the meeting. That just couldn’t be helped, I should have brought it up right away. I could have told her when I was throwing my “hissy fit,” I just didn’t think it would be a good look to bring it up at that moment when I had already crossed a boundary.
Plus, I fucking miss her. Not just last night—though that was brutal—but the past week. The distance and silence and lack of emotional and physical intimacy has slowly driven me out of my mind. Because of that, I let it affect how I would normally react to certain things.
Opening my car door, the vibrating in my pocket pulls me from my musings, and I stop short when I see it’s a message from Leena.
Pretty Girl: Can we talk?
It’s not “we need to talk,” but her words still cause my nerves to escalate.
Me: Of course. When?
Pretty Girl: Are you free now?
Me: For you, always
Pretty Girl: I’m getting ready to leave. Meet me at home?
Me: I’m on my way
Parking in my usual spot,I decide not to use the key or garage access code Leena gave me over a month ago. I go around the front and sit on the porch steps.
My heart rate skyrockets as she drives past her front yard, comes up the driveway, and pulls into the garage on the side of the house.
Twisting my body to look at her as she opens the front door and makes her way to me, my eyes hungrily take her in. I refused to do it earlier at the hospital because I was afraid my feelings for this woman would be written all over my face like a flashing neon sign. But now, I can’t fight the need to scan her body covered in a hoodie, joggers, and sneakers. Her usual casual and relaxed outfit is a contradiction to her curls in a messy bun and tired eyes.
Graceful as ever, she sinks down onto the top step next to me and reclines back into the rail. Turning and bending my knee, I mimic her pose. For a long moment we stare at each other. It’s a shock to see her usually expressive eyes so guarded.
Taking a deep breath, I say,“Let me start?” She jerks her head in a nod.
Leaning forward, I rest my elbow on my knee and reach my hand out to cup her ankle, needing the physical contact of her exposed, warm skin. “Leena, I am so sorry. For so many things over the past few days. But my biggest regret is trying to take advantage of our relationship to handle a work issue.”
Needing to pause to gather my thoughts, my thumb brushes over her ankle. “First, I shouldn’t have blown up on Joanne regarding staffing and then demand she have you come to the desk. That was shitty of me. But assuming you would take my side was grossly inappropriate. When you didn’t, I should've accepted it. But instead, I took it another step and tried to hold your hand and almost called you ‘pretty girl.’”
Leena opens her mouth, but I lightly squeeze her ankle. I want her to hear me out first.
