Page 69 of Scrubbing In
“Dr. Merritt is waiting. But don’t worry Dr. Jacobs, I’ll take care of you.”
“Just scrub in so we can do our jobs and get the hell out of here.”
This is bullshit.
Turning around, a look passes between the anesthesia provider and myself over the drape, but her eyes cut away quickly. Cracking my neck, I attempt to get my short, fast breaths under control. Tasha should finish this goddamn case before she goes to scrub Diego’s, and normally I would insist that happen. Except he’s the fucking Chief of Surgery and I’m the newest surgeon on staff. The bottom rung in the seniority chain.
I’ve been frustrated as hell this past week. Something is going on with Leena, and there has been a distance between us that is eating me alive. Many times I’ve felt like she’s on the verge of telling me something, then ends up staying quiet. I know she has to be as sick of me asking if everything is alright as I am of asking, especially since I know she won’t tell me. It has me fucking losing my mind.
It’s never felt like this with her, even when she was avoiding what was between us in the beginning, and I’m freaking the fuck out. I’m so fucking gone for this woman, I’m tied up in knots over it. It felt like everything was falling into place. We’ve confessed our love, we’ve met each other's families, and we’re practically living together. We’ve also become a little reckless with keeping our secret—the storage room and bar are blaring examples of that. It’s almost like we were on the cusp of not needing to hide anymore, like she is almost secure enough in us that she’s ready to go public.
Now, as I’m left floundering about what to do, the strongest urge to flip the back table comes over me as I watch Tasha and Devin trade places.
“Hi, Ian.” I’m not one to stand on formality, but I really have to bite my tongue and not insist Devin call me Dr. Jacobs. “How are you doing?” she simpers.
I just grunt. Then call for the implant size I want.
When passing it to me, she holds my hand in a completely unnecessary way, almost dropping the implant in the process. “You know, Ian, you’re still pretty new around here. We should get drinks, get to know each other a little. What do you say?” She drops her voice into a low whisper that I assume she intends to be sexy.
“No. I have a girlfriend.”
“That doesn’t matter to me.”
“I’m not interested. What I want is to finish this damn case,” I sneer.
Unfortunately, she is not deterred. Devin continues to try flirting with me for the remainder of the case and the next one. I grunt or speak in monosyllabic words only when necessary.
When the surgery is finally over, I rip off my gown and gloves and toss them in the trash. Pulling my mask from my face with a sharp jerk of my wrist, I suck in a lungful of oxygen, but it does nothing to lessen the vise gripping my chest.
As I stride from the room, I feel a tickling of fingertips curl up my spine. My body goes rigid.
I spin around and swat Devin’s hand away from me. She purses her lips in a pout. “What's the matter, Doctor?”
“I have a girlfriend, Devin.”And only she is allowed to call meDoctorlike that.
She makes a show of looking around. “She’s not here right now though, is she? And I am.”
“She doesn't have to be. She's all I think about.”
I try to step around her, but she grabs my bicep, giving it an appreciative squeeze that makes me grimace. “Come home with me, and I can give you something better to think about. “
I yank my arm from her grasp. “I highly doubt that.”
Anger courses through my blood as I storm away.
This is something I need to report.Fuck.
I knowI said I didn’t have any cases lined up today when I spoke with Leena this morning, but I don’t fucking control what comes through the ER.
Blowing out a breath, I tell Joanne, the nurse in charge of the desk most days, “This is an emergent case. I have been told and assured emergent cases take precedence over scheduled cases. Hold a room so we can get my patient into surgery.”
“Of course emergent cases are the priority, Dr. Jacobs. And we can get your case started immediately with our team that would otherwise be giving breaks and lunches. But it’s not the crew you’re asking for.”
What the fuck?
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I try to focus on my breathing. My agitation has been on a steady simmer this past week, the weekend only amped that up to a slow boil. But, right now, I feel like it's finally going to explode from what Joanne is telling me.
Once again repeating myself to her, I bite out the next words. “During the week, I’ve always had Charlie and Sarina. They know the ins and outs of our service, and I need that right now. Send the relief crew to relieve them so they can do my case.”
