Page 27 of Scrubbing In
As promised,Chelsea sent me my locker number and combination last night. So, with some time to kill before we begin rounds on the floor, I start unpacking. A restless night's sleep left me dragging this morning, leaving only enough time to change into my scrubs.
Connor’s lounging in the seat next to me talking while I, in an orderly manner, put away my standard locker essentials to tide me over if I get stuck here for days on end. Toothbrush and toothpaste, three-in-one shampoo body wash, comb, deodorant, a couple changes of clothes, extra scrub caps, and my back-up hospital shoes.
Shortly after our first meeting, I was surprised to hear Connor left his position heading the Ortho Trauma Department at a Level I Trauma Center. At the top of his game, he walked away when he became a single father. I couldn’t fathom having to make that decision.
When he came to Palmetto Regional Medical Center, it was his mission to provide high quality orthopedic trauma care and keep Bayberry Park patients in Bayberry Park. It now regularly boasts a complex twenty-plus patient service that is managedwith ease, and that’s not even mentioning the many skills developed and strengthened by his guidance and leadership.
Connor has successfully implemented this massive undertaking, routinely consults on cases around the country, and continues to be a phenomenal doctor, but even with this thriving career, it’s clear he has a bigger point of pride.
Connor’s huge grin and shining eyes as he regales me with his daughter’s antics tells me fatherhood truly is his biggest priority. It's funny to think how long I’ve been acquainted with him, but I don’t really know him as much more than my surgical mentor. I’m looking forward to seeing this more personal side of him.
“That girl keeps me on my toes,” Connor says, a wide smile still on his face.
“Kids will do that. I definitely remember how my parents had to be on their game at all times with us,” I say.
He barks out a laugh, then nods in agreement. Shutting my locker with a snap, I glance at Connor. There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to him about, and there’s no time like the present, especially with him being so open this morning.
There has been a lingering flicker of jealousy I haven’t been able to let go of since hearing Leena call Connor by his first name. It has only burned brighter since I’ve noticed that she refers to every other surgeon as Dr. So-and-so or just their last name, which is a pretty common practice in the OR. I need to know what kind of relationship they have.
After I've finished stocking my locker, we make our way to the unit where most of our service’s patients are located for morning rounds. I try to subtly broach the topic of Leena. “So, tell me more about the OR staff. It seems we have a team pretty much dedicated to us.”
“Charlie is great. She is smart and quick, always able to anticipate your needs before you ask. Makes even the mostdifficult surgeries easier.” Taking the stairs two at a time, his words float back to me. “There are other techs that are really great, but there are also some that you’re always hoping aren’t on call when it’s your weekend. Those ones make me seriously contemplate holding cases until Monday.”
“Okay, good to know.” Reaching the fourth floor landing, I ask, “What about nurses?”
Connor looks at me over his shoulder as he pushes through the door. “Lately we’ve had Sarina assigned to our room, and honestly she’s been the best since we lost Leena. Before she became clinical supervisor, she was our lead nurse and it's been a hard adjustment without her.” We both automatically pause at the hand sanitizer dispenser by the unit doors and rub the gel into our hands. “Charlie and Leena are great on their own, but as a team? Fuck, everything was so seamless. Plus, they really are a trip together.” He chuckles.
“How’d they end up as the Ortho Trauma leads?”
“They were pretty new when I started. I think management wanted to foist them off on the newest surgeon, so they were frequently assigned to my room. But I guess the joke was on them because our service line became the most efficient. With them, our First Case On-Time Starts and turnover stats led all other rooms. So, I asked them to be our leads before another service line snatched them up.”
“Leena seems very competent. I’m guessing management took notice and snatched her up from under your nose?”
“Yep, and that’s when I saw how separately Charlie and Leena impacted our service. But like I said, Sarina is the first nurse to really fill that void. Her personality fits in well.”
This is it. With a slow breath, I try to maintain a neutral facade and ask, “Have you remained close with Leena?”
“Yeah. The way we were all thrown together, working closely for all those years, we became friends. And don’t tell anyone Isaid this, but I think she still takes a little extra care of us.” Connor quickly glances at me then looks forward again. “But I don’t think that’s what you mean. My daughter is my priority, so beyond friendship, pursuing any personal relationships hasn’t been on my radar.”
The tips of my ears heat as Connor side-eyes me, but I remain focused on where we are going.
“Until recently, no one’s tempted me that way.”
“Oh?”
He clears his throat before he speaks. “Hmm, she started working here last year. But as luck would have it, the first person to attract my attention in years would be in a relationship.”
I feel both relieved that Leena and Connor have only shared friendship between them, there is also sadness for my mentor. Leena and I have this insane connection, but she has not made herself available to me because of her self-imposed professional boundaries rule. If things were different and she was with someone else, my current yearning would be a terrible case of unrequited pining, just like Connor.
“I’m sorry, man. That can’t be easy.” Clapping his shoulder, I give him a small smile.
With a shrug, his face clears. “Alright, let’s get on with rounds.”
A large yawnescapes me as I stand at the scrub sink performing my usual hand antisepsis routine prior to the first surgery of the day, and I’m suddenly grateful I downed a cup of coffee—even the subpar lounge coffee—after rounds and seeing our first patient in pre-op.
With Connor taking a call, my mind inevitably wanders to Leena.
Seeing the confusion and hurt flash in her eyes when I remained politely detached this morning gutted me. After last night, I was in my head about scaring her off. But, my forced coolness will probably still end up hurting my chances with her.
