Page 21 of Scrubbing In
I remain on edge for the rest of the evening, my anxiety and unspent lust coursing through my blood.
Just as I predicted,my stomach churns with anxiety when I board my flight.
After I returned to the hotel last night, I immediately jumped in the shower, choosing to stand under an icy blast of freezing cold water to cool the blood pumping through my body. I knew it wouldn’t take much to make myself come with how keyed up I was. I may have been punishing myself unnecessarily, but I knew the relief would be bittersweet and not nearly satisfying enough because it wouldn’t be Leena I was coming with.
I tossed and turned most of the night, agonizing over my situation with her before falling into a restless slumber. My alarm went off a short time later, which only added to the dull pounding in my head.
I know I definitely came on too strong and moved way too fast. There is no doubt in my mind she is freaking out about it. I had hoped following her to the bathrooms would give us the opportunity to talk, to implore her to give me a chance. To show her we could navigate her concerns while I work on tearing down her walls and building a foundation to explore our undeniable bond.
Instead, I knocked us back ten steps from where we started with that impromptu and illicit encounter in the hallway. But I’m choosing to be positive and hoping she sees it as proof of our explosive chemistry. It didn’t take much to set ablaze, burning hot and fast. I may have only gotten a taste of the heat between us, but I hope I whet her appetite. Left her starving for more so that she wouldn’t continue to resist what is between us.
Now I’ll be walking a fine line between being upfront about my unchanged interest in her—if anything, it has grown exponentially—and giving her space and time.
However, as I enter my apartment later that day, I realize I just might have a plan.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Leena
I have beenoff balance for weeks. Equally dreading and anticipating Julian’s return to Bayberry Park and Palmetto Regional.
Charlie knew something had happened in that hallway. However, when I refused to talk about it, she stopped pressing, leaving me to stew in a chaotic swirl of emotions. My feelings swing from one emotion to another like a pendulum, quickly and without warning.
My impromptu hookup with Julian has been replaying in my mind. At first, I was chagrined at how easy it was to forget our surroundings. Anyone could have happened upon us—another patron, one of our colleagues from his table, a staff member frommy family’s restaurant,or even one of my siblings! I’m still fighting random waves of mortification when I think about us getting caught.
I was embarrassed by letting myself get wrapped up in the heat of the moment. Never have I been able to be intimate so quickly before. I’ve never thought doing so was wrong, I just have never been able to relax or quiet my brain long enough to get carried away in the moment like that. I’ve always needed to feel comfortable with my partner, which for me takes time. So,of course, I’m stunned by how easily I was swept away and how little it took Julian to bring me to orgasm.
And that brings me to my frustration. That was the best damn orgasm I have ever had. I can’t help reliving it, and I find myself aroused all over again. So why don’t I just take care of myself? Well, let’s just sayit has not gone wellwould be a huge understatement. You would think Julian had teased me and left me teetering on the edge with no relief. No matter how many times I attempt to get off, I can’t! Or when I do, it’s so unsatisfying, it doesn’t even take the edge off. My reliable vibrator has met its match, failing me for the first time. Tears of frustration have been shed.
But then, the flowers arrived. On my birthday, no less, but that’s not why they were sent.
Memories of the florals under the fluorescent hospital lights flash through my mind, a small smile touching my lips as I recall the day I received them two and a half weeks ago.
There is a beautiful floral arrangement sitting on the front desk. Joanne’s face lifts from the blooms with eyes closed, nostrils flared, and a soft appreciative smile.
“Who sent you these gorgeous flowers?” I ask.
Her eyes pop open with a laugh. “Oh, honey, these aren’t for me.” She indicates the little lavender envelope with my name typed on the front.
“Really?” I ask, a tentative smile pulling at my lips. I scoop up the heavy arrangement and turn for my office.
“You’re not going to read it now? Here?” Joanne gasps in disappointment.
With a jump of my brows, I smirk. “Nope, definitely gonna do it in private.”
Pushing my door closed with my back, I lower the flowers onto the desk. Plucking at the card, I admire thearray of artfully arranged blooms in the most stunning hues of rich purples, deep violets, bold tangerines, and vibrant magentas.
Leena,
I really didn’t expect what happened last week. When I went after you, I was only hoping to talk. I’m so sorry for how quickly things got out of hand and for putting both of us in a potentially compromising position had anyone found us. I want you to know I understand your feelings about workplace personal relationships ,and I was not trying to coerce you into a situation you now no doubt regret. But I promise you, I will be on my best behavior when I get back.
J.
Julian’s number is typed out beneath his initial.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I bring the card to my lips.
Those beautiful flowers only made the pendulum swing that much harder.
