Page 134 of To Have and to Stalk
“Get me into your fucking computer!” he screamed, his voice disappearing in contempt, giving way to a bone-rattling raspiness. Ifeltthe spit. His face grew scarlet.
He raised his hand, and I took another step back, but not in time. He slapped me with such force I felt both fire and ice radiate through my flesh.
The ring he always wore left a cut. Copper filled my mouth. I stared at the floor, and I did something insane.
Ilaughed.
Maybe it was the adrenaline, but it felt more likerelief.
I knew this version of Graham existed. Someone who screamed at me and called me worthlesscouldn’tbe a good person. But he was so composed around everyone, and he never so much as raised his voice.Everyoneloved him.
And he never hit me.
Graham stepped forward, tightening his grip on my shirt.
“If you don’t get me into your goddamn computer?—”
You get the best of both worlds.
Hannah Montana blared into the room as a custodian entered. He froze in the doorway, eyes darting between us.
Chill out, take it slow?—
Graham shoved me off, pushing past the man with such force he almost fell into his trash.
chapter
forty-five
CALDER
It was hard to go to work. To drive up to that steely building walled off by a mountain of granite. To get out of my car. To live the life I’d already resigned myself to live. The mountain air was cold and smoggy with lack of snow.
I’m starting to really like you.
I more than liked Shay. I was starting to picture it. Starting to imagine unthinkable things, like normalcy. Like mowing a lawn. I could imagine waking up next to her. Feeding into her book addiction. Watching her reality shows.
I would have to leave soon, go to the next place the Mafia wanted me.
Never see her again.
I had no fucking right to imagine anything but Shay without me.
But now I was having a hard time imagining the day I never saw her again.
Fuck.
Was this love?
I spent eight hours going through the accounts, again barely making a dent. As the sun was setting, I stood up, grabbing my stuff. I glanced at Shay’s location for the hundredth time since Saturday. She hadn’t moved in days. I fought the urge to drive over to her house.
She wasfine.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Andrew’s raised voice pulled me out of my thoughts. He stood in the doorway. His outfit wrinkled. His hair unwashed. Dark circles under his eyes.
“I’ve been here all day,” I said, voice low and measured. Something was clearly off with him. He was unhinged.
“Really?” he said, taking a step. “Well, then why the fuck is this not finished?”
