Page 48 of Falling for the Felid
I wince through my laugh. I can admit the moment was funny—me shrieking, “I’m going too fast, I can’t stop, noooooooooo!” right before I hit the boards would probably have gotten us an immense number of social media views if (a) we’d recorded it, and (b) it wouldn’t be unprofessional for a member of the king’s security team to post something like that—but it alsohurt. My magic means I heal fast and can temporarily deaden nerves to ease pain, but it still wasn’t the best moment of my life.
That might be this one. Lying in bed after sex, talking and laughing about the important things in our lives with a man whose company makes me wish for more.
Shoving that thought into a locked box, I force my attention back to what matters. “Well, Erik said several parentsasked about the day camp for older kids, and some wanted information about game tickets. So the plan is working.” A glow of satisfaction warms me from within. I may not have been enthusiastic about this program, and I’m still looking forward to the day I can go back to my actual job, but success is always fun to be part of, and having spent time around Felix, the team, and the people in the office, I want to be part of it as my people discover how cool they are.
As though he can tell what I’m thinking, Felix rolls on top of me and props his chin on my chest. It creates an awkward angle for me to look at him, but I like having him this close, so I’ll tolerate the crick in my neck.
“Are you counting the days until you don’t have to work at the Warhammers every Monday?”
I purse my lips, considering how I want to respond, and he gives me a little nudge with his chin. “Hey, answer honestly. I’m a big boy. You won’t hurt my feelings if you say you want to spend even less time around me and my sport.” He’s snickering as he finishes, so I seize the moment and tickle him, setting off a tickle war.
By the time we’ve stopped squirming, squealing, and desperately trying to get both closer and away from each other, the bedding is half off the bed in a tangled mess, and we’re both flushed and panting again. Naked tickle wars are stimulating.
Felix flops back on the mattress dramatically. “And all I did was ask about your future plans.” He looks up at me, his eyes warm and unguarded, and some of my defenses crumble. Would it really be so bad to confide in him a little?
I lean down to kiss him, then curl myself into his side and bury my face in his neck. His arms come around my shoulders, holding me to him.
“I’m not counting the days,” I murmur. “Mostly because we have no idea when someone will be available to replace me, sothere’s no number for me to count down from.” He makes a grumbling sound, and I would bet anything that he’s rolling his eyes.
“Surprisingly, I’ve enjoyed my time at the Warhammers. That doesn’t mean I’m not looking forward to going back to working full time at the DEA, but I’m not upset about the delay.” I nip at his collarbone. “Your sport is a lot of fun—to watch, I mean. I have no fucking idea how you play it.”
His laugh is a gentle heh heh heh as his hand sweeps down my back, and my lips respond by curving into a smile. “I bet I could teach you, if I had enough time.”
“Lucky for you, you’re young still. And time is something we elves have a lot of.”
His hand slides up into my hair and clenches, and he uses it to raise my head so he can see my face.
“Ow,” I protest mildly.
“Do you mean it?”
Sighing, I sit up, and he releases my hair, also sitting up.
“I don’t know what I mean,” I admit. “I want to. I want to be a factor in your life and have you be one in mine.” I don’t tell him that he already is—the only thing outside of my work and vocation that matters. “But I’m fucked up, Fe. I’m not… I don’t… My life isn’t really mine. I can’t make promises.”
His brow furrows in confusion, but he doesn’t ask. I don’t know whether I’m relieved or not.
“Okay,” he says, and I wait for the rest, but that seems to be it.
“Okay?”
He shrugs. “You said you can’t make promises. What am I supposed to do, hold a claw to your throat and make you? They wouldn’t be worth the breath spoken with. You know my history with broken promises. I’d rather it be this way, with both of us being honest, than to go through that again.”
I hate that I can’t immediately make every promise he deserves, including one to make sure his asshat of an ex gets randomly selected for a thorough tax audit of some kind. Instead, I nod.
“I’m into you,” I say, a touch more intensely than I’d intended. “If I could pick anyone to make promises to, it’s you. I don’t… It’s selfish, but I don’t want to lose you from my life.”
“Heh.” He leans in to kiss me. “How’s it selfish? I’m okay with what we’ve got now. We’re friends, right? Good friends, I like to think. We fuck. We take care of each other. None of that is bad, and none of it means we need to make some kind of commitment. If I ever feel like I want to be in a relationship, I’ll let you know, and we back off. Yeah?”
That all sounds very logical and reasonable, but for some reason, alarm bells are clanging in the back of my mind.
Still… “Yeah.”
“Great. In the meantime, let’s enjoy this while we can. Are you coming to Sunday dinner at my parents’ place tomorrow?”
The change of subject has me floundering. “What?”
“I go every Sunday that I can,” he explains. “It’s just casual, but my sibs and their families are usually there. We eat and catch up on each other’s lives.”
