Page 43 of Bar Down Baby!
I had a feeling that Barry was digging his nails into my life, gaining purchase wherever he could so that I wouldn’t be able to easily keep my distance. The way my mom beamed at him, his plan was working. Jeremy had managed to create inside jokes with Barry by the end of the night, acting like he was the older brother he’d never had, mooning over him even more than he had when he was just a hockey idol. The two of them kicked a hacky sack back and forth in the living room while Kate and I worked on the second puzzle, the one with the cats, before the knob of fabric and rice scattered one of our piles and we yelled at them to stop.
I could almost admire Barry’s tactic, the covert needling into everyone’s hearts so they’d feel it a personal betrayal if I blocked him out.
Once inside the house, I tossed the keys on the counter and padded through the kitchen to feed Junior. He was once again pretending I’d never fed him, meowing and nudging at my ankles because he was starving, really on the brink, like I hadn’t fed him in days instead of just a handful of hours.
A true thespian, really.
Barry followed and hung the discarded keys on the key hook before stowing the leftovers in the fridge next to the pre-made meals. I wouldn’t have to make anything for a week between the leftovers and his efforts, which I suppose had been his main selling point for moving in—helping me be pregnant.
I hadn’t even scooped the litter box once since he moved in, as he’d read that it was of the utmost danger for me to do so.
But he must’ve seen tonight that in fact I had lots of help. Aside from Jeremy who probably wouldn’t give up a bus seat for me unless I kicked him, my family helped me far more than I helped them, but I was trying to change that. I was trying to show them I was someone who could take care of herself, a hard worker, a responsible mother, a real contributor.
I filled up a glass with water from the tap after letting it run for a few seconds to get cold.
“You keep sighing,” Barry said. He’d stripped off his coat and was now working on the buttons of his flannel. He wore a thin white tee shirt beneath, which was better than him walking about the place shirtless, but not by much. It was a tight shirt.
“It’s Kate.” I had to complain to someone, and he’d probably get it, what with all those siblings. I took a sip of water and swallowed a couple of prenatals. “She went on a date last weekend.”
Kate never went on dates, or she hadn’t for a long while, or I thought she hadn’t. Now I couldn’t be sure. Was she frequently going on dates? When did she have time for that? What was to say she wasn’t secretly pregnant with a stranger’s baby? Would she even tell me?
“Oh?” Barry moved around the kitchen and living room, hanging his coat on the standing rack, folding his shirt and tossing it on his deflated air mattress. “Someone you don’t like?”
“Nothing like that. He’s probably fine.” I knew nothing about him, other than his name and profession. He had to have a PhD, right? A scientist? “She didn’t tell me.”
“When she got asked out?”
“No, like at all. I had to find out from Jeremy.”
“What’s the problem, then?”
“She always tells me things,” I said. “I don’t know, it feels like the sort of thing she should have told me.”
Barry turned on the standing lamp in the living room while I made my way to the bathroom to take off my makeup. I kept the door open while I wiped the cotton pad across my cheeks and eyelids.
“You’re mad at her?” he asked.
I toed the door shut to pee and mulled over this. Maybe he wasn’t close enough with any of his siblings that their problems felt like his.
When I’d washed my hands, I opened the door again and he was waiting just outside. He had the faraway look like when he was working through something.
“I think I feel betrayed.”
“The date was last week?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“And she didn’t tell you about it, not a text or anything?”
“Right.”
I leaned over the sink to wash my face, splashing cold water and then warmer water on my skin. When I toweled dry, Barry was standing in the same place, his thoughtful look replaced with an impatient one. I didn’t know how to read all his expressions, and I could never tell what he was thinking.
I watched him as he worked through something before looking back up at me.
“What would you have done with the information?”
“Uh…” The bathroom was starting to feel as small as it was with him caging me in. I picked up my toothbrush and toothpaste just to do something with my hands. “Helped her pick an outfit? Offer advice?” Dates were exciting sometimes. I wanted to be excited with her.
