Page 27 of No Shelf Control
I shake my head, not sure I want to know the answer to that question, then circle around the counter before Olive changes her mind and nails me with another book.
Unlike the front, the back of the store is a mess. There are half unpacked boxes everywhere. The paint on the walls is peeling, like they didn't take the time to fix it up back here. It smells like books and vanilla.
Jasmine's seated at a workbench in the center of one big room with what looks like a gift shop's supply of baskets and cellophane around her. There are wine bottles, vibrators, and books stacked all around her. Soft music spills from the speaker on her phone.
"What are you yelling about this time, Ol?" she asks without even looking up. "You know I can't hear you when I'm back here."
"I haven't started yelling yet, princess," I growl, blocking the door with my body, just in case she tries to make a run for it.
As soon as she hears my voice, her body goes rigid. She whips her head up, her wide eyes meeting mine. For a long moment,neither of us speaks. We just stare at each other. She looks tired, like she hasn't been sleeping.
The sight tugs at my heart. I want to pull her into my arms and just fucking hold her until she lets it go… but I have a feeling that's liable to get my ass kicked. Again.
I knew books were weapons against ignorance. I did not expect them to be used as actual goddamn weapons.
"Um, hi," she whispers like she's nervous, turning the volume down on her phone.
"You've been avoiding me."
"I…" She exhales a breath and then nods. "I have."
Well, hell. I expected a denial or a fight. I'm not sure what to do with a miserably spoken truth.
"You going to tell me why?" I ask, taking a step toward her.
She stares at me for a long moment and then sighs again. "Because you were supposed to be a balding, middle-aged college professor. You were supposed to have serious anxiety issues and be boring." She swallows hard. "You weren't supposed to become real, River."
"And that's a problem for you," I guess.
She bobs her head in a frustrated nod, strands of hair bobbing around her face. "Yeah, it's a big problem," she says. "Because now I like you. Now, I'm dreaming about you. Now, I know what you feel like inside me. I know that you aren't the asshole I thought you were. And I don't know how I'm supposed to fit you back inside my box when I'm not even sure I want you back in that box." She swallows. "You have me questioning everything, and that was never part of the plan. What am I supposed to do about that?"
I can think of a few things, but I can tell by the look on her face that she's seriously stressed about this, so I pause before answering. "You weren't part of my plan either, princess," I saysoftly. "But I'll be damned if that stopped you from turning my whole life upside down. All I do is think about you."
"Same," she whispers.
"You're driving me crazy."
"You're driving me crazy, too."
"I'm not going to break your heart."
She flinches, and I know that's exactly what she's afraid of—not that I'll be some disappointing version of a hero, but that I'll break her heart. I know her well enough by now to know she guards it fiercely, afraid to give it to anyone. But she's already given pieces of it to me. She never would have slept with me if she hadn't. And that scares the hell out of her.
I stride across the room, stopping when I'm right beside her, so close I can smell her. So close, I feel her arm brush my chest every time she breathes. "You're safe with me, Jasmine."
"My dad said the same thing," she mutters. "Turns out, he was cheating on my mom the whole time. He had a whole other life." She laughs without humor. "And all those special father-daughter trips we went on when I was a kid? Yeah, those were just excuses so he could sneak time with his mistress without Mom getting suspicious."
Fucking hell.
"He did that to you?"
She nods. "He'd take me to New York twice a year, and then sneak his mistress in while I was asleep. We even met up with her for dinner a few times. He told me she was a friend from college." She rolls her eyes. "The whole time, he was fucking her, and I was just his cover."
What a fucking prick.
I reach out slowly, turning her face until she's looking at me again. "I'm not your dad, baby. I know how important loyalty is, and I would never fuck around." I swallow. "I haven't even slept with anyone aside from you in…hell, seven years? Eight?"
She blinks at me. "What? Seriously?"
