Page 30 of A Highland Bride Forgotten
“I didnae mention anythin’.”
“I’ve only been thinkin’ about the bairns!”
“I’m sure,” said Finlay, if only to placate her.
River snapped her mouth shut before she could incriminate herself even further. The more she spoke, she thought, the worse it was.
“I’ll leave ye two to talk,” said Finlay as he pushed himself up and off the bench.
“There’s naethin’ to talk about!” River told him.
“I’m sure,” said Finlay once more, in that conspiratorial, infuriating tone of his.
“There isnae!” River insisted, but he was already walking away, waving his hand at her.
Cheeks burning, River sat there, her arms crossed in front of her chest as Finlay walked away and Layla approached. As their paths met, Finlay bowed his head in greeting and Layla gave him one of her awkward, endearing curtsies. When she reached River, she stopped short and looked at her, eyes narrowing.
“Are ye alright, me lady?”
“I wish people would stop askin’ me that,” said River with a sigh, before she gave Layla a small, tired smile. “Aye, I’m alright.”
Layla peered at her for a moment longer, then plopped herself down on the bench next to her, where Finlay had been sitting only moments prior.
“Well, ye’re about to be even better,” Layla announced confidently as she pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to River. Upon closer inspection, it was not a piece of paper, but rather a letter–one stamped with her brother’s seal.
Of course Layla had assumed this would be a joyous event for River. Who wouldn’t want to hear from their brother? But River blanched, the color draining from her face; something Layla noticed immediately.
“What’s the matter?” she asked. “What is it?”
“Naethin’,” said River, shaking her head viciously as she shoved the letter in her pocket–unopened as always.
Layla hesitated. When she spoke, her voice was soft, bird-like. “Will ye nae open it?”
River shook her head but said nothing. The letter in her pocket was like a stone, weighing her down. She wanted nothing more than to rid herself of it, to place it in that drawer along with every other letter her brother had sent her, but she couldn’t find a good enough reason to excuse herself.
Sometimes, she wondered what her brother was writing in those letters. Sometimes the curiosity became almost unbearable. Still, it never outweighed her reluctance to read his words–to know the truth.
“Do ye want me to open it?” Layla asked. “I couldnae tell ye what it says but I could open it for ye.”
Laughter bubbled out of River at that despite herself. “I suppose that’s the most challengin’ part, truly.”
Leaning closer and placing a hand on River’s shoulder, gentle and comforting, Layla asked, “Is it?”
River nodded soundlessly. A knot seemed to have formed in her throat that prevented her from saying a single word. Though she parted her lips as if to speak, nothing came out.
“I see,” said Layla. “Ye daenae have to tell me. I have brothers, too.”
Another laugh bubbled out of River, soft, almost humorless. This time, she found her voice. “It isnae me brother,” she said. “At least...I daenae ken. Sometimes I’m afraid it is me brother and sometimes I think he couldnae be what I fear he might be.”
Once those words had been spoken, it was as if a dam had opened up inside her and she could no longer keep everything bottled up. She had kept all her worries to herself for so long. She had let them fester inside her, settle like poison in her stomach,and the relief of sharing this with another person was so big that River was on the verge of tears by the end of it.
She told Layla everything–how her mother had murdered that poor woman, how she had then taken in Arya and Colby, how she feared her brother either blamed her for their mother’s death or had taken part in her atrocities, and so she couldn’t bring herself to open any of his letters but rather shoved them all in a drawer and tried to forget about them.
By the time she was done with her story, Layla was looking at her with her mouth agape.
“Och,” Layla finally managed. “I’m sorry, me lady. That is...that is truly awful. I didnae ken ye had been through so much.”
River took a trembling breath, her entire body shaking with the release of every emotion she had clung to for so long. The relief was great, yes, but so was the worry once again, the thought that all her fears would come true.
