Page 52 of Miles's Pact
Nineteen
Miles
It'd been two days since Duckie and I had sex, and we'd shared a bed every night since, though we hadn't taken things any further. I was perfectly content to follow Duckie's lead, and there was something to be said about going to bed all snuggled up after a good makeout session.
Earlier today, Alex had invited Duckie over to hang out, and after assuring us that he remembered the way to Uncle Raph's place—and that he'd call us if he needed anything—Duckie had left with Snowball.
"Wanna play some Fortnite?" Mateo asked as we finished up the breakfast dishes, and I smiled. Fortnite had been our game for years, ever since Micah first introduced us to it. We'd played it many times over by now, and some of our deepest conversations had happened with controllers in our hands.
"Sure."
Mateo set up the controllers as I grabbed some drinks for us before joining him on the couch, and it didn't take us long to fall into the rhythm of things.
"You might want to ask Rhiannon for one of those silencing wards for your bedroom," Mateo said a few minutes in, and I glanced over at him. He shot me a wink before turning his attention back toward the game, and it took me longer than it should've to realize what he was referring to.
"Fuck," I mumbled under my breath, making him chuckle.
"It's okay. My headphones arereallygood. But I don't want to have to put them on every time, so..."
"I'll text Rhi."
"Cool."
We focused on the game for a little while, and I relaxed into the familiar moment. While I adored Duckie, I'd missed hanging out with Mateo. Balance. That was what I needed.
"Mat… I wanted to ask you something."
Mateo glanced over at me, tilting his head as he read whatever look I was sporting.
"What is it?"
I bit my lip, unsure how to put into words what I was feeling. How did I ask him if he felt like I was breaking the promise I'd made him all those years ago? How did I ask him if I was failing as a brother?
"Spill it, My. Whatever it is, it's probably a lot simpler than you're building it up to be."
With a roll of my eyes, I turned to face him better, looking into his familiar eyes, eyes that I knew better than my own. "I've been spending a lot of time with Duckie recently, and I was worried that…"
"That I feel like an abandoned puppy?" Mateo asked, though his voice was teasing.
"I don't want you to feel neglected. Or like I'm choosing Duckie over you."
I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn't be alive right now if I hadn't had Mat. He'd gotten me through every tough day of our shared life, and without his ever-present optimism and unending strength, I would've given up a long time ago. Maybe after the third failed foster placement, or after the fifth time the witches cut into my wrists to drain my blood.
Mateo was my lifeline, and I owed everything to him. He was the other half of me in a way Duckie would never be, and I never wanted him to feel like his importance in my life had lessened with Duckie's arrival.
"That's not a choice you can ever make, My," Mateo said with a soft smile. Dropping the controller, he grabbed my shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. "Duckie and I play very different roles in your life. Thinking you have to choose between us is like asking me to choose between pizza and Coke. There's no comparison, and therefore, no choice."
"I'm guessing you're the pizza," I joked, making him grin.
"Always, twinsie. You need to stop with the worrying, okay? If I do feel like something's off with us, I'll tell you. You know I never keep my mouth shut about crap like this."
"Yeah, okay. I just… I know I've never explicitly said it, but you're my rock, Mat. You were my reason to keep going when I didn't want to, and I just… I hope you know that no one can ever replace you or change what you mean to me."
"I know." Simple and full of conviction, like he'd always known it.
Smiling, and feeling far better about our relationship than I had in days, I pushed his controller back toward him, turning my attention to the game as he gently knocked his head against mine.
"Love you too," I said out loud, and we continued the game, enjoying the companionable silence as we completed quest after quest, passing the time until our stomachs started rumbling and demanding to be fed.
