Page 52 of My Demon Neighbor
Before Codie could reply, Jonah stuck his head around the doorway, his blue eyes flicking from me to Codie and back.
"Hey, Pythor. Do you have a moment?"
I felt Codie stiffen beside me, and I shook my head. "Not right now. Catch me later."
I turned back to Codie as I heard Jonah hesitate for a moment before walking away.
"Codie?"
He flinched, then pressed himself against me, as if he was trying to hide under my skin.
"C-can we go?"
Unsure what was wrong but needing to make him feel better, I nodded and wrapped my arms around him.
In seconds, we were in his living room, and I led him to the couch as Hella pressed into his legs, her concern clear as she watched me seat him before climbing onto his lap.
Codie pulled her close, burying his face in her fur as his heart raced far too fast.
I rubbed his back, unsure what else I could do to make him feel better. Make some tea? Hold him? Leave him alone?
"Sorry," Codie said a few minutes later, his voice barely more than a low murmur.
"Don't apologize. Can I ask what happened?" If it was something I'd done...
"It was stupid. The guy who came in," Codie explained, a drawn look on his face. "His eyes reminded me ofhim. That was all it took."
He sounded disappointed in himself, as if he'd failed somehow because he'd panicked, and I shifted closer to him, sliding an arm behind him so I could pull him toward my chest. He snuggled in immediately, as if he hadn't been sure if he could before.
"It wasn't stupid, Codie. That's how fear works. Trust me, I know."
He glanced up at me, giving me a curious look, and I found myself telling him something I preferred not to admit even to myself.
"Remember what I told you about Mammon?"
Codie nodded, his brows furrowing in confusion. "The demon who went dark?"
"Yeah. Well, before that happened, he was my friend. We were pretty similar, though I'm a couple of centuries younger than him. Our personalities matched perfectly, though, and we got along well. Ever since he went dark, I've been terrified of becoming like him."
Codie blinked at me, a puzzled frown on his face. "There's no way you could ever turnevil, Pythor."
I shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. But it still terrifies me, Codie. It was why I started volunteering at the community center, why I agreed to teach you at first, why I rush to help any human I see in need. It's all selfish, all a desperate attempt to avoid that fate."
Codie was silent for a long moment, and then he snorted. "Only you could twist helping people around to make it sound like a selfish thing to do."
I huffed, because he wasn't wrong.
"I see what you mean, though. Fears are irrational," he murmured, and I nodded, pressing a kiss into his fluffy curls.
"Exactly. You still took a big step forward today. Don't forget that."
Codie nodded, then snuggled into my chest, and I held him close, happy to do it for as long as he needed.
Codie
When the nightmare came that night, I wasn't surprised. After the panic of thinking I sawhimearlier today, I was expecting it.
I wasn't in my house this time, though. Instead, it wasthat night, which I hated. The what-if dreams were bad enough, but the memory dreams were the worst. They left me feeling sick and hollow and wishing I'd died. I hated them.
