Page 74 of Double Dared
Emma moved from the doorway and let me in, closing the door behind me. I walked into the apartment, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants. “I just heard about it. And I tried calling.”
She waved her hand off. “Michael’s been calling all morning, begging to see me. I turned my phone off.”
“Is he…is he going over the line?” I asked, fists closing.
Emma snorted and shook her head. “Don’t worry about him. He’s just crying and asking to talk.” She walked into her small kitchen and stirred somethingsizzling in the pan. “He hasn’t been around, and I doubt he’d do that.”
“I’ve been calling all morning,” I said, then felt bad immediately. “Sorry. I get it. I was just worried.”
After stirring the diced peppers and onions in the pan, Emma turned around and leaned against the kitchen counter. “I’m fine, Harrison. Embarrassed, humiliated, and, honestly, talking to you about it is the last thing I want.”
Her words took me aback.
“Think about it,” she said. “I left you. And, not that I’m bragging, I sort of broke your heart. Guess it’s karma.”
“I don’t think it’s karma,” I said. “I’m sorry this happened to you, Emma.”
She twirled away from me, busy with the pan. “Don’t be.”
A silence settled between us, though it wasn’t the good kind. I had nothing more to say. Nothing I said was very welcome. And besides, my heartbeat was thundering in my ears louder with every second I let Taylor wander further away from me.
“I just wanted you to know,” I said slowly, but Emma turned around again and looked into my eyes, her gaze hard and steel-like. “I wanted you to know that I’m here. Whatever you need. Even if it means being left alone.”
Emma held my gaze, then scanned my face briefly before nodding. “I appreciate that.”
We looked at each other, and I wondered, for amoment only, if any part of me still wanted this. Had all of me that had once been in love with her died already? Or had it been reborn? Rewritten?
I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it. There was nothing left to say. Nothing that she didn’t know already.
So Emma spoke instead. “I won’t pretend it’s not embarrassing to see you here, Harrison. The asshole cheated on me, and the first person to come running is the guy I left. I don’t…I don’t know why you came. But if it’s anything other than what you’re telling me, then…”
I shook my head and stopped her there. “There’s nothing more there. I’m only here because I was worried. I’ve moved on, but I still care for you. You were a big part of my life.”
“Even if I held you back from being who you are?” she asked.
I let out a small, quiet laugh. “You didn’t do that to me. We did it to each other.”
Emma relaxed a little, then crossed the small space between us and put her arms around my torso.
I hugged her back, inhaling the scent of roses in her hair. For a moment, I spared a thought for all the good memories we’d made together. Then, as she murmured a thank-you, we pulled apart, and I felt good about it.
I didn’t need more than this. I didn’t want more than this.
She was going to be okay. And I knew, at long last, what I’d been pretending not to know all these weeks. Iloved, still. I loved hard and fast. But it wasn’t Emma I loved.
And it wasn’t Emma I saw myself growing old with.
“What about you?” she asked. “Are you okay?”
Well. Almost. But I didn’t want to talk about it. Because I knew where he was. I knew where he would be. Taylor was too romantic, too wonderful, too much like me to be anywhere else.
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I’m okay. Better than okay.”
Emma smiled.
“I need to go,” I told her. “If you’re sure you’re alright.”
“I will be,” she said.
